The Turn Around: Race Report-Marathon PR

“I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again”

 ~Mark Twain

Before I start I should tell you what the plan was:

• Pre-Injury to finish shooting for a PR close to 5:30 running most of the run
• Post-Injury to finish before the 6:30 cut off so that I could still get my necklace
• Walk all aid stations
• Wall all hills

What actually happened:

• I found that my knee didn't bother me so I raised my expecations
• I walked all the water/fuel stations as planned
• I walked a lot of the hills, but ran a good portion of each hill because it felt good
• I pressured myself mentally to stay between the 5:15 pacer and 5:30 pacer
• I finished with a 49:32 difference in PR--Freaking Fantastic Right!

So the packet pick up wrapped around Union Square. It was a neat, but not the best Expo ever. I know Niketown was across the street for shopping, but I needed more money spending options inside.

They had this great map at the Expo, looks so manageable, right?!

Niketown is right off of Union Square and was the scene of the start line on Sunday. They pasted a huge sticker with names of all the registered participants on it. Supercool!

Went inside Niketown and got to see a wall-o-shorts. I am so glad it is fall and I was not too tempted. The huge lines were also a deterrent.

The Scene at the start line. Crazy amounts of estrogen. I couldn't look at anyone without getting teary. All kinds of people running for reasons that seemed so much deeper than mine (at the time).

My Buddy V was awesome enough to sign up late and help get me out there. She logged a DNF, but toughed out a good 16 miles.

The first little climb. Not so bad, great view of the Golden Gate in the distance.

The view from Crissy Field, even better view of the GG.

I wish I had more pictures from the Golden Gate climbs to mile 13. This was pre-real rain. Forecast said there was 30% chance of light showers so sprinkles from mile 4-14 were no big deal. At the top of mile 7ish there were rest rooms before a decent downhill. I had a no wait potty break, had a Powergel and enjoyed the easy downhill. There were orange slices around miles 8-9 and you could smell the citrus from all the oranges and peels on the street. I packed enough fuel not to bank on the orange slice aid station, but was super glad they hadn't run out. I texted my husband and was looking forward to seeing him at mile 11, I even saved my walk break for when I saw him. Suddenly it's mile 12 and I still hadn't seen my hubby. This was a really bad thing. I let myself get my hopes up and all that meant was crashing. I tried to smile through it and decided a half way point photo to stick in my race report was just the way to start feeling better. *Time is not adjusted for the roughly 24 minute relaxed start delay. I did get to see my husband at mile 14.5 where he so nicely stretched my quads, said I looked good and after the race told me that the group of girls behind me at that point said the following, "I want calves like hers." Yup, they were talking about me!

At mile 16 I took another line free potty break. It is amazing how much the field thins at the half marathon turn off. Kinda lonely, but not. At mile 16 all I could think about was how easy of a time I was having and that I could totally do it again and the next 10 miles were going to be cake. LOL yeah, you go a little crazy when you run 26.2 because it is never easy. Here I am at mile 19 with the zoo to my left and the beautiful ocean to my right. You can't tell, but it is raining. Actually it rained pretty much non-stop from mile 16 to 26.2 and was really pouring down 16-19 and 25-26.2. Knowing that it was going to be cold I went to a store, that shall not be named, and bought a Fruit of the Loom white sweat shirt for under $6.00, knit gloves for $1.50 and a leopard print ear warmer for $4.00. I intended to ditch the ear warmers and sweat shirt at mile 2 a designated charitable clothing donation station. Yeah, um, WAY to cold for that! So I ended up running is a soaking wet cotton sweat shirt because there came a point where if I took off the soaking wet sweat shirt I would just get colder. This is particularly ironic given I just posted about my snooty clothing selections HERE.

I called my husband at mile 23 because I needed some motivation. I was running near a couple groups of people who then started talking to each other about the people in their lives suffering or who have recently died of cancer. I got choked up, then couldn't catch my breath. There were other challenging times during the race. The start was at mile 17 when I started to cramp. I wanted to walk, but kept going. I had to be so uber cliche, not really my thing, but I though about my 17 year old cousin battling a rare form of cancer. She went from high school athlete to being unable to walk inside of 6 months. Then I thought how ironic that I was having this challenge at mile 17 since she is 17. Mile 17 was cousin J's mile. I really had lost of calf cramps from mile 19 to 20 and again from 23 basically to the end. My husband met me at mile 25.5, took the wet sweat shirt and fanny pack so I could get a good finish line photo and ran a 1/4 mile with me. At the end of that 1/4 mile I got a good slap in the ass for good measure. Thanks honey.

Check out my race photos HERE, the video is not of me which is lame, but the photos are good. I also love the NIKE graph options. See how I faired, GRAPH style.

I think I am ready for another run, too soon to be thinking? I feel somewhat accomplished, but not like a found the answer to world peace. I feel confident, so confident in fact I am already thinking about what is next, should I relish in this longer? I feel like the outside world doesn't understand the length of time runner's should be allowed to brag about accomplishments. They always respond with how crazy of an idea it is, not, "Holy smokes, you are amazing!"

Thankful Three

1. For a husband who is sick and still spends 5+ hours in the rain for his running wife
2. For cell phones
3. For Christi at Pedestrian Runner she chose me for the Tuesday Hero award, I am so honored.

Monday Motivation: I Run To Be...

I Run To Believe.

So one of these days I am going to Be-confident all the time, Be-proud of myself all the time, Be-Me ALL THE TIME. 100% ME, without apology!

I guess this weekend was a good time to start BElieving in myself. I only have a few minutes to make this an actual, "Monday" Motivation Blog so I'll keep it short. On Saturday I had no hotel and no real belief I was actually going to make it to the starting line. I begged my husband at dinner Saturday night to take me home, I was almost in tears several times. We planned to sleep in the back of our truck near the race since I had not booked a hotel. Why didn't I book a hotel for my "A" race of the year? Because I was not confident I would actually follow through. We decided at about 8:30 that night, after a dinner in the city, to stay at a hotel 45 minutes outside the city and just drive in in the morning. When my husband suggested this I said we could just go home and drive the full 1.5 hours and skip the hotel expense. He so wisely noted that if I go home, I will not show up to the start line.

Final Finish Time 5:34:05. In case you were wondering, my only other marathon attempt and finish was San Diego Rock n Roll in 2006 and I finished in 6:23:37. You could say I am pretty proud of myself.

Thankful Three

1. For my husband, he got me to the start line and almost quite literally to the finish
2. For my new bling
3. For me

More to come in future posts: 

A full race report and 26.2 reasons I Run To Be

Thoughtful Thursday: Safety First and 10-10-10 Race Report

“The way to be safe is never to feel secure”

 ~unknown

So I haven't run in two weeks and I am "running" a marathon in 3 days. I posted a weak moment, whaa, whaa, whaa post yesterday and talked about being afraid. Well, we'll talk fear in just a moment. Let's cover the 10-10-10 race report information and lessons learned tonight.

RACE REPORT-short version, there is a bigger story here

• Today I went for my first run just to test out my knee. 
• I put on my new purple running skirt, grabbed my iPhone for the Pandora radio access and headed out the door feeling pretty cute and ready do it!
• I chose a .5 mile loop in my neighborhood and started conservatively.
• About 1 mile in I was fairly sure that I wanted to finish the 10-10-10 run put on by RunningDivaMom For this reason, I did not have a race bib on (sorry)
• I really wanted to do the run on 10-10-10 but I was still living in fear that I had completely lost the ability to run and didn't want to know for sure. Damn knee bursitis
• The first 3 miles were completely pain free, woo hoo!
• The second three were still "pain" free, but I felt some of the bursitis pressure and needed to take walk breaks.
• Despite walk breaks I was pretty happy with my 1:11:03 finish (11:30 ish minute miles) 

Lessons Learned

Tonight I did the following:

• Wore a head lamp
• Wore a bright yellow reflective vest
• Did not take my dog for fear she'd trip me and I would get injured
• Ran on the street (asphalt) to avoid as much concrete as possible
• Hand my phone for an emergency (and Pandora radio)
• Only used 1 earbud so I could hear traffic
• Ran in my own neighborhood on a .5 loop so I was close to home if my knee began to hurt

All of the above sounds pretty safe right? Well as the quote says above, "The way to be safe is to never feel secure"...well I am not sure I totally agree, living in fear would suck. I do think that we should not be complacent. Tonight I ran at 9:15 PM. Running at night is not safe for many reason, low visibility being my primary concern. Well tonight I was reminded how vulnerable I am. While running tonight I was very cognizant of my surroundings. I took note of cars driving around, listened closely to things going on around me and paid attention to my internal fear. About half way through my run I was feeling concerned that I wore a skirt running at night, I would be less of a target if I wore pants and looked like just a person, not a woman. With 3/4 of a mile to go, I decided not to do the .5 loop. While running a car that I felt had driven past me already gave me the creeps so I decided to finish the last bit of my run by doing 5 loops on the .1 loop a block from my house. Yay me for making at least one smart decision tonight. No sooner than finished 1.5 of the 5 laps I needed to do before running home did I see that car again. It looped the .1 and came back around and pulled close to me. A guy, late 20's early 30's, (my age) pulled up and said, "How you doing?" Really? How are you doing at 10:00 at night?! I backed away from the car and asked if he was looking for someone. While asking this I was pulling out my phone from my vest pocket. The guy didn't respond to my question and just eyed what I was doing. Once I dialed my husband and brought the phone to my ear it registered for him and the guy slowly drove away from me. I then proceeded to S-P-R-I-N-T home.

Questions:

1. Why did I dial my husband and not the police? Well first of all he was only 1 block away and could get to me sooner than the police
2. My husband would have killed the guy, while the police, well...they may have just hassled him a bit and given he did nothing wrong, would let the creepy guy off
3. Why did I talk to the "stranger"...honestly I thought he might have been a neighbor, but it became clear very quickly that he was no friend of mine and had different intentions
4. Why didn't I run away? Well, to get to my block I would have had to pass in front of his car and I didn't want him to hit me, chase me etc...

On the phone with my hubby I asked him to come out side to meet me as I ran home. Some how my feet just flew, there was no knee pain or pressure and I was light, I was literally flying. My husband said he could here me from the end of the block because I was practically hyperventilating. He hussled me in the house in case the guy tried to follow me and so he wouldn't know where I live. 

I called the police to come patrol the neighborhood. My husband drove the neighborhood. For my own reassurance, I also drove the neighborhood looking for the Blue Toyota Hybrid with no plates, just the Toyota Town label of a new car where the license plate should be. I don't feel better yet.

I'm still shaken up and am blogging after midnight because my mind can't rest about what I should have done, could have done differently and the things that could have happened. I tried to explain to my husband that this guy must live in our neighborhood, why else would he be here? To that my husband reminded me we live close to a university and that creepy guys troll around the area looking for unsuspecting college girls. It hadn't even occurred to me that bad people go out looking for bad things to do in my "safe" neighborhood.

What kinds of safety measures do you take? What measures should I take...besides not running at 10:00 at night in a short skirt? I feel so stupid about that, ugh!

Thankful Three

1. That nothing happened to me tonight
2. For a pain free 10K
3. Lessons learned-be smart. be safe. 

The Turn Around: Self-Sabtage and 100th Post Giveaway Winner

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen.”

 Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby quotes 

Yeah, all that happy go lucky crap I was dishing out earlier this week was my way of convincing myself that I haven't totally sabotaged my chances at finishing this marathon. I am not convinced. Ugh, everyday I tell myself I am going to go out for a run to test my knee, and everyday I find an excuse not to go. I am sure that my excuse tomorrow will be that I am not going to bed until midnight (Tuesday) and therefore will be too tired Wednesday morning (today). We'll see, I should be more positive. Honestly I am really afraid. Afraid of what?

1. Afraid I'll get in a couple miles on a training run and have to quit because of my knee...I know it's better to know now than on race day.
2. Afraid that I'll feel great and push it, then hurt myself again
3. Afraid I'll be fine and actually have to run the thing (I'm only half joking)
4. Afraid that my 2 1/2 weeks off (it feels like a month) will have undone all my training
5. Afraid for no other reason than 26.2 miles is scary

So why have I self-sabotaged? So I don't have to answer any of the questions I have about my ability. I read other runner blogs, I knew the self doubt would come, but I am really convincing myself that 26.2 is not the best idea. I really want to run the SF course for the sake of the awesome views, the Tiffany's necklace and overall feeling of excitement and energy that 20,000 people bring to an event. I have a plan and a partner, if we have to walk the whole gosh darn thing, then we are going to do it! I know I sound so ready right? but I am so not. Good night Bloggy Blog friends.

I almost forgot, we have a WINNER! Random.Org has chosen lucky number 13! Isn't that amazing, 13 on the 13th! So Ms. Meredith please message me at sophiakobrin at yahoo dot com with your mailing address and I'll get your goodies in the mail to you ASAP. Thanks for following!

Thankful Three

1. For wicked awesome Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches
2. For discovering Five Guys burger joint, seriously may never need In-n-Out again
3. For my husband's new truck, probably going to have to borrow it...alot

Monday Motivation: I'm a snob, are you?

“I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.”

~Coco Chanel

So I am kind of a snob. I wasn't always a snob, but somehow I have developed a little snootiness. For example, I was in the woods, hiking along a river that my husband was scouting for a good fly fishing spot. We passed a couple people and I looked down at myself and noticed I was wearing a pair of Adidas jogging pants. Yeah, if I passed myself on this trail I would have guessed that I was out on my first hike. Totally not wearing the right gear. I know life is not all about gear, but are you a snob? Do you consider it to be snobby about appropriate gear for whatever sport strikes your fancy? Maybe snobby isn't the right term, but I figure if I am being judgmental, someone else is judging me...right? My husband doesn't even notice these things.

So while I am more of a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl, I do need to dress appropriately for work. With my wonderful weight loss, that I am totally thankful for, I have not really been fitting in my current wardrobe. So today on my Federal Holiday day off I decided to head into San Francisco and go shopping. Yikes, I kinda over did it, but I am excited about my new outfits. Like Coco Chanel says, you never know when I might have a date with destiny. I am going to do my best to look pretty, but it is tough for me to do in the fashion world. I can totally look the part in the woods despite my Adidas pants fly fishing faux paux, but looking fashionable in a professional environment, not quite my forte´. Wearing the right sneakers for a trailrun vs. road run, check. The right heels with the right dress? Yeah, I usually need to phone a friend.

Are you a snob? Fashionista?

Thanful Three

1. For a day in San Francisco, I can't wait to see Union Square transformed into the Nike Women's marathon race expo
2. For a great shopping buddy, seriously was a ton of fun
3. For an understanding husband. When I told him how much I spent, he said, "Better not lose any more weight, you need to wear those things for a while" LOL lose anymore weight, I am terrified it might come back!

Friday Five: Head in the Clouds

Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray. ~Lord Byron 

Still in a super-fantastic mood! I love that things have turned around and nothing has changed but my attitude. Sometimes that is all it takes, smile instead of frown, turn sour subjects sweet and know that life is what we make of it.

1. I have today off, yippee!
2. I went to a Free Master's swim group and got video taped. I learned to swim strokes when I was about 11 and at the time is was this funny S thing under water. Did you know that is antiquated? Yeah, I didn't either. I was told that we are supposed to have our arms become human paddles. I corrected this and got some good critique I can build on this winter.
3. I am not committing to anything quite yet, but in my quest to strengthen my core, I also want to factor in some weight loss/tummy toning for purely vain reasons. My legs look freak'n awesome and are certainly a size 10, however, my tummy isn't budging and thus I continue to wear size 12's and have baggy pants around the tush and legs. Should I get my pants tailored? Um, nope! I am going with lose the tummy, what do you think?
4. Physical therapy went really well this week. I sold my Honda Pilot on Wednesday and was forced to ride my bike to work on Thursday. I hate that I am slow on the uptake. I have been talking about riding my bike to work all summer and never did. Now I realize how much speedier my rehabilitation might have been (still working on it) if I had rode my bike to work for cardio and exercise for my right knee bursitis. Hind sight is 20/20
5. Ok ladies and gentleman be jealous. I am going to the McCloud River, pretty much a flyfishing mecca in Northern California. We have a babysitter, I have 3 books and my husband has his fishing rods. Gonna be a nice time to relax and enjoy seriously one of the most beautiful places in the United States.

I'll catch you bloggy bloggers Sunday, have a great weekend and don't forget to enter my first giveaway HERE

Thankful Three

1. A great swim work out this morning, I am coming to appreciate form more and more
2. Family support so I can spend time alone with my husband
3. Luna Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein bars, soooo good

The Turn Around: 100th Post and my First Giveaway

Wednesday Hump Day sounds funny, but like an out and back run it marks the turn around to the work week. I am so excited that I have a 3 day work week. I was off Monday for my son's birthday and have Friday off for a weekend with Super Hubby, ALONE! Did I mention Monday the 11th is a Holiday for me at work too? I thinking a trip to the Napa Valley to pick up the wine futures I ordered back in the spring time is a perfect way to spend that day.

I am super happy, so what has changed? Well, I still haven't run since Sept 24th and with my marathon only 10 days away, I'm kinda worried. As a way to temper my anxiety I printed the course map, penned in all the water aid stations, fuel aid stations and bench mark times for the 6:30 cut off. I posted them for miles 5, 10, 15, 20 and 25. While I have been encouraged not to run it, I haven't been told I can't walk it so right now my goal is still to finish. Thinking about 14 minute miles makes the endeavor seem doable.

Since the map thing made me feel so much better, I had time to think about how much I love fall. I love hearty seasonal foods, snuggley blankets, Halloween, weather changes and the birthdays of the three most important people in my life: Super Hubby, Duder and The Bug. I want other people to feel as super-fantastic as I do so I decided in honor of my 100th post, I would put together my first giveaway. Below are some of my current favorites:

2-cutesy Halloween buckets
1-pair of tall socks with skulls
3-Powerbar gels (Chocolate w/caffeine)
6-Luna Bars (all different flavors)
2-Cliff Shot Blocks (cranrazz flavor)

Here's how to enter (separate comment for each please).

1.  Mandatory~ Become a follower of my blog or let me know if you already are.

2.  Mandatory~ What is your preferred choice of fuel?

3.  Follow me on Twitter HERE.  I'm tortuga_runner.

4.  Post about this giveaway on your blog, Facebook or Twitter. Leave a comment for each.

BONUS ENTRIES ~Share your favorite thing about Fall or Halloween in a separate comment

Winner will be chosen using random.org.  Entries will be accepted until midnight on Tuesday October 12th and the winner will be announced Wednesday October 13th.

Thankful Three

1. For feeling super-fantastic today
2. For one of the books I am reading: Little Bee~so far it's a great read
3. For friends, dinner tonight was awesome!

Sunday Summary: Confessions

“Faith is confirmed by the heart, confessed by the tongue, and acted upon by the body”

~Anonymous

Forgive me body for I have slacked off, it has been 9 days since my last run. You read that right folks, 9 days. I was so hopeful for my Friday physical therapy appt. I was sure I was going to get the green light to run, but alas I am still on restriction. I did not post Friday, but if I did it would've looked a little something like this:

Friday Five: Death by Mini Mart

1. 4 out of 6 hostess mini powdered donuts
2. 1 of 2 hostess chocolate cupcakes, you know, the ones with the white swirlies on top
3. 1/2 an individual bag of cheetos
4. chocolate milk
5. watermelon flavor laffy taffy

Yeah, and this was breakfast. I know, I am terrible with my coping, I should weigh a bazillion pounds. Fortunately I do not have a lot to cope with so, I have the freedom to binge on junk food when life gets me down.



Back to the physical therapy appt. I reminded my doctor that I was supposed to be running a 1/2 marathon today. He said that it probably wasn't the best idea. He said I could walk it if I wanted to. WALK? Um, yeah, walking 13.1 miles sounded like torture so I urged that maybe I could trot, maybe jog a little. Reluctantly, he said yes as long as I only ran to fatigue in the knee/bursitis area and not to the point of pain. I was pretty worn out after therapy Friday so I thought I'd test out running on Saturday.


Saturday I ran in short bursts for 38 minutes. LOL actually, I coach my son's 3-4 year olds' basketball team. Coaches incidentally are also the referee's. So lots of running forward and back peddling back. No knee problems. I was still feeling mopey when I got home so I mowed and edged the lawn. It was quite therapeutic as I could see fairly instantly a positive end result. Same with cleaning out my car in preparation for possibly selling it. I even hit the grocery for all the ingredients I would need for my beef, mushroom and barely soup. So in between the lawn and the grocery I thought I would test out this whole run to fatigue thing....um, yeah. I made it to the end of the block. Seriously?! If I thought I wasn't going to run today, I was damn sure of it after my little trot to the end of the block. Good thing was my soup cam out great so we invited friends over for a great dinner, great wine and we even ended the day with some pumpkin pie. Sounds great right? Yeah, great...stay POSITIVE!


Lucky #13
I need to stay positive I have 13 days to the marathon. I have faith. I have confessed (again) about slacking off with my running/core. Now my body needs to act. I will attempt to complete my weekly mileage this week using the run-walk restriction and see how it goes. It I am able to do that, then I'll try and do 10-12 this weekend. I'll run the plan by my physical therapist tomorrow. Nike Women's Marathon is a lottery gig and there is not guarantee that if I am unable to run it this year, that I'll even get in next year. Just thinking about it makes me want to grab an "It's It' from the freeze (chocolate covered, oatmeal cookie, ice cream sandwich). Ok, bad coping effort, but it is my effort.

How do you cope when you can't do what you love doing?

Thanful Three

1. For the fun goodie bags my son and I put together for his birthday party tomorrow
2. For Book 2, of The Hunger Games, Catching Fire
3. For more cousins. My husband's cousin gave birth to a healthy baby boy today! 

The Turn Around: Obstacles or Opportunity

“An obstacle is often an unrecognized opportunity”

~unknown

Wednesday Hump Day sounds funny, but like an out and back run it marks the turn around to the work week. I wish this turn around was about an out and back run and not just my work week. I have not run since last Friday and I am starting to really feel some negative effects. Apparently, running not only keeps me fit and gives me reason to be proud of myself and feel accomplished, but it also makes me happy. Happy for conquering my mileage, doing more than most people in a day by starting out with a 3-4 mile run, for being skinner as a result and my favorite...sexy runner legs. No I haven't lost my sexy legs or gained all kinds of weight since Friday, but I do feel like I am missing something. Yesterday was my 2nd physical therapy appt. At my first one last Friday I was instructed not to run all weekend. I could still swim or bike, but no running until my next appt. Well yesterday was appt #2 and I still did not get the ok. To add to the sadness I have also moped around and not done any cardio since my yucky run last Friday morning. My initial physical therapy consult Thursday as well as my real therapy that started Friday both prescribed core specific work, so have I done that in earnest since Friday? Nope. Will I get too it? Yup.

Good night Bloggy Bloggers.


Thankful Three

1. For Great books
2. For Oreos
3. For Dayquil

Sunday Summary: Scatter Brained

Ambition is so powerful a passion in the human breast, that however high we reach we are never satisfied. 
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Ugh, I hate feeling scatter brained. Have you ever been driving and missed your exit? Went to the kitchen and forgot what you went in there for? Well as of late I have been feeling very scatter brained. Let's recap how this happened:


I have no idea where it started? There is no turning point, I just have been feeling this for about a month. I try to fight it, hide what I am feeling by making excuses and even try and convince myself that I believe something I don't. Here are the things that are making me feel scattered:

• I have 20 days to my marathon and I have not run longer than 20 miles.
• I just got a case of Bursitis which has halted my running, at least for a few days.
• I sit on the board at my congregation and have a ton of great ideas about how to improve some of our membership activities including a huge reworking of our webpage, but I can't seem to work in to my schedule time to layout the plans for implementation.
• Our congregation is doing a capital campaign fund raising thing and I am also on that committee and I feel like I could be doing more, but my schedule is too full.
• It is the end of the fiscal year at work and I am feeling the pressure to have all my employee feedback written up.
• I have 3 home projects going: house being leveled, exterior repainted and gutters redone. The last one has been a project since February and our guy has been so flakey I now have to look at finishing his partially done work. Did I mention I paid him in full? Yeah, I know I am a dumb-ass.
• I put in for a promotion at work, just found out I didn't get it. I also put in for the leadership program, yeah, pretty sure I didn't get into that either. Don't let those 2 failures fool you. I am damn good at what I do, I just have to rethink how I am approaching advancement. I have severely limited my options for the sake of my family.
• My house is cluttered. I am growing out of being a clutter bug, but I could really use someone else to do it for me, if only I could afford a professional organizer. I can't decide about what to purge sometimes.

So now let me this stuff down to manageable pieces:

• Yes I only have 20 days to my marathon with 16 miles being my longest run. However, I am pretty confident I can finish. I knew going in I wasn't winning any prizes and it is only my 2nd marathon...my first being 4 years ago. My only goal is and should be to finish.
• Bursitis. Yes it sucks, but at least it is manageable. I have gone to a physical therapist and have a plan for the next 3 weeks that should help me be able to complete my marathon.
• The membership webpage ideas I have do not have a deadline. While sooner is better, I can work at my own pace and have a great webmaster to help implement the changes when I am ready and the board approves them.
• Capital Campaign has been going on in a "silent" phase for over a year. While I want to tackle a bazillion assignments in a week, I know it is not feasible. My partners are not even available yet so why am I pressuring myself. Deep breath and a penciling in of the calendar and I am good. No worries.
• Three home projects: House leveling-it'll get done. We have identified a contractor and will be calling this Wednesday to firm up a date. While we hate shelling out cash, this guy is good, reasonable in price and my favorite: RELIABLE. Exterior painting: We already have a guy. He's good. He's affordable. He's RELIABLE...and I know the end date for the project is the end of October (it's a side job for him) so why I think about it is beyond me. The gutters. Well, what can I say about the gutters. The guy we hired and paid in full continues to take advantage of my flexibility. It sucks and there are some explicatives I'd like to use, but I am lady.
• So I didn't get a promotion or likely didn't get in the leadership program either. This one is a little more tricky. While work is not supposed to define us, I kinda let my success at work speak as the success I feel as a person. I know this is not the right way to think and I try and convince myself that it is just a job, just a necessary means to pay the bills. My husband noted the other night that he appreciates so much that I try and convince myself that work is just work, but reminded me that it is not really true for me as much as I want it to be. So there you have it, I am disappointed and am not sure really how to rebound from it. Don't get me wrong, I WILL rebound, the HOW is the thing I am still working on. 
• In terms of approaching advancement differently, I don't mean making myself available for a wider range of opportunities, I mean, accepting that I may not be going anywhere for a while and making the best of my circumstances. No this isn't a pity party. I literally have it really great where I work and while promotions in position type sound nice, any promotion outside of my current work district means a severe pay cut. You've gotta love the federal locality pay where I live. So my circumstances are mine because I have made them that way.
• House clutter. Well I am not worthy of an episode of hoarders to I am not that worried about it, but it would be nice to purge a little. I have too much stuff.

In more scatter brained news:

• Friday I stepped on a baby rattler. I wasn't paying attention and fiddling with my iPhone so I didn't see it. Was I in the wilderness running? Hiking? Nope, I was on my way to an offsite work meeting and it was in the middle of the sidewalk. Pretty wild huh!  
• 
• On Friday I went for a 4 mile run and my "knee" hurt so bad I had to walk. Only got in 2 miles. The good news is I called my primary physician at 8:15, she got me in at 8:45 and called in to a fancy physical therapist that got me in at 10:00 all that same morning. I love that my primary care dr. is a runner herself. With the Nike Women's Marathon only weeks away, she approached my situation with a clear sense of urgency. I am on orders not to run this weekend and have a follow up appt tomorrow. Some rest and physical therapy a couple times a week for 3 weeks should be just I need to be able to run.
• Physical therapists orders? NEW Shoes and inserts to start. I have a whole regimen of exercises, but I was personally excited about needing new kicks. 
• 
• I am reading 3 books. They are all so wonderful. I for some reason need to have multiple books going at once and these are all so different I find myself torn each day and time of day about what I want to read. Today I am hooked on The Hunger Games, yesterday it was Little Bee and before I bought these books it was Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. On that note I am going to go back to reading.
• 

Do you focus and excel at one thing? Or do you prefer to be a jack of all trades? 

I am good at lots of things, better than good actually, but I find it hard for one thing to hold my attention or feel like I am doing enough. Because I feel like I am good at lots of stuff, it is hard to focus my energy on one thing and not feel like I am wasting my talents by not doing a wide variety of things.


Thankful Three

1. New sneakers and owl socks
2. Being good at lots of stuff
3. For this injury. I have been searching for something I can't live without and it looks like running is slowing but surely making it's way onto that list. I feel awful not being able to run, I need it.

Friday Five-Boo!

1. On Sunday I ran 16 miles. About mile 13 I started to feel pain below my right knee. Think, smacking your knee against your desk when swiveling in your chair kind of pain. Really?! Monday was a rest day. Tuesday my quads still felt pretty shredded, Wednesday...well I can't really come up with an excuse for Wednesday. Thursday I ran 4 miles, one of those was my fast mile in 10+ years. I felt a little nagging from the knee, but it was nothing I couldn't push through. I went to physical therapy for my left side ITB, had them treat my aching lower back and take a look at my right knee. Nope, not a "knee" issue. Not the tendons, muscles or ligaments. It is the top of my tibia. It feels bruised. There is no inflammation. Plus when I was there yesterday it was only nagging not actually painful.  Yesterday I was reading P's blog and learned sometimes we just need to HTFU.  This morning I got up at 4:30, was not feeling it. I was tired, my tummy was not ready, my lower back ached a little and my knee hurt!? I woke up in a little pain. Weird. I still got up, drove the 15 miles to meet my running partner and hobbled through a 2 mile run walk. Next time, I need to listen to my body better. I couldn't tell the difference between general ick and ouch. I will be calling the dr. today, x-ray maybe? Boo!
2. Looks like Sunday's TRI Club Championships are out. Boo!
3. My son just ate half my breakfast. Boo!
4. Come on, dig for something positive here.....um, I get a semi-half day at work! I am working all day, but 1/2 of my day will be spent off site doing something creative. Unfortunately that 1/2 day is the latter half of the day and in the bay area so I will be sitting in 5:00 traffic trying to get home. Boo! Oh wait, this was the positive one.
5. Ok, let's try this again. Um......well.....shoot I know I've got something. Ah ha! Wait, lost it. Ok, let's go with this. It's Friday!

Thankful Three

1. Breakfast with my son
2. Crawling back into bed after a hot shower
3. The prospect of sleeping in some time this weekend

Thoughtful Thursday: Success?

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.
~Henry David Thoreau

 

There are so many definitions of success. Usually it has been black and white for me. I win or I lose. I am the best or I am not. I finish or I DNF. I am fat or I am not. I have the worst time with the in-between, the gray areas and the things I think I should control and the things I cannot. It is so hard when success is not so black and white. As I embark on this new season I need to redefine success for myself. Unfortunately I need definition, but I am going to work on making those definitions help propel me forward vs. making me feel held back. I have been feeling lost lately and I guess that is where I am starting with this blog. That Thoreau guy is pretty smart. Yesterday I felt really lost. I am not lost, but feeling that way made me re-look at the things I consider successes and failures. Honestly in doing so I haven't really had any failures lately. Don't get me wrong, I am sure things have not panned out perfectly in everything I have done or that has happened to me, but I don't feel like a failure.

 

What has been great?

• Um, hello? Family! My daughter is walking, she'll be 1 next month and I have a birthday party to plan. My son starts tot basketball this coming Saturday and I get to be the head coach. He'll turn 3 in a couple weeks so planning his birthday makes me feel like a good mom.
• Husband. We have done a really good job at planning weekends together and have a great fishing/hiking expedition coming up in a couple weeks.
• Work. So I may not be advancing at the pace I had set out for myself when I was young, unmarried and childless, but here is the deal: I have made choices. Another success quote: "One secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." ~ Benjamin Disraeli. Well opportunity sure has presented itself, there has been no shortage of that, unfortunately I needed to be ready. While I have certainly been equipped with the tools on the job, I have also been mothering two children and trying to balance that with being a decent wife. Meaning, I wasn't ready. Another quote, "Lost time is never found again" Benjamin Franklin. I have chosen not to lose time with my family and put off some career advancement moves. Now I am ready to put myself out for some select opportunities. Unfortunately, putting myself out there means preparing myself for disappointment. Not advancing at this point in my career is not failure, it is not missed opportunity. At this point, if I do not end up in the place I want to be, it means that it was not the right opportunity for me. I am very good at my job, but I know I am limiting myself by only choosing to go after select positions.
• My ITB has not bothered me in the least since I started physical therapy
• At the beginning of the summer my running goal was to run a sub 10 minute mile. If I didn't make it, it wasn't going to be a failure, just a continued goal. In case you were wondering, the sub 10 minute mile was totally achieved and this morning I hit 9:07. 

So whats next?

• The TRI club championships Sunday 9/26
• 3 birthday parties! son, hubby and daughter in October
• 1/2 marathon 10/3
• Nike Women's Marathon 10/17
• 50K bike ride 11/07
• 1/2 marathon 11/14
• 6 year wedding anniversary
• New mission? Sub 9:00 minute miles.

What this blog post is not. This is not a way to make failures sound ok. I am not looking for excuses and there are going to be failures. I am certain of that. What I am doing and which is a continuation of my 31 to 31 efforts this past summer, is being nicer and kinder to myself. When I am nice to myself, it seems that I have more success.

Thankful Three

1. For the value of putting out into the world the positive energy I want to feel in my life so that I don't feel so lost
2. For breaking 10 minute miles with gusto
3. For taking a few hours off work to catch up on my TV DVR'd shows

Sunday Summary: Not the best idea and Challenge Updates

So how much did I run during the week? 4 miles. Then if that wasn't just super awesome, I fasted Friday evening to Saturday evening, had a light meal Saturday and ran 16 miles this morning. NOT THE BEST IDEA. Don't get me wrong the run was great! A new girl joined me and my running partner. There were plenty of walk breaks to drink, take in nutrition and stretch. I took in a lot more nutrition than I normally do. For breakfast I had 1/2 a Luna Chocolate & Peanut Butter Protein Bar. This was a new thing and I enjoyed it. I saved the other half for right after the run. Over 16 miles I took in 2 Chocolate Power Gels with 2x sodium, 1 sleeve of Tropical punch Clif Shot Blocks and a Gu Blueberry/Pomegranite Rocatane. I actually had to have the Gu with less than a mile & a half to go, it was a new Gu and I was not disappointed. My tummy just started growling. I only drank 20 ounces of water. I am a bathroom breaker and I knew that after the 1 miracle port-a-potty that it was unlikely I would have another opportunity so I took in my fluids sparingly.

So where does the NOT THE BEST IDEA come in? Well it is 10:21 PM and I am still "experiencing" the effects of some dehydration. The fast yesterday included not drinking water either. Today I have had maybe 50 ounces of fluids and 20 of them were in the last 10 minutes. I am horrible, but when I run like this I don't really feel hungry all day and I am already really bad at hydrating. I love the blog-o-sphere challenges, I need to create a personal challenge to drink more.

Speaking of challenges:

The Legs Love Lunges Challenge, it is officially over. I am not dressed for cute leg pictures right now, but I am pretty proud of them. They may not look all that much different, but they feel great.

The Summer of Weight Loss Challenge is over.

Current weight 193 (size 14 as of June 26th)
Goal 180 (this is a pretty lofty goal so any loss is great or at least a comfortable fit into a size 10/12). 
Weigh in days are Tuesdays-----9/19 181 lbs 1 pound shy of my goal. I am a comfortable 12, actually they are kind of baggy, but not all 10's fit me yet. Is there an 11 out there somewhere?


Bust: Too big, still nursing, nothing I can do about them
Chest: 3----- same
Waist: 37-----33.5
Hips: 42 1/2-----40.5
Midway (my version): 41 big roll below the belly button, 40 right at the belly button and 38 1/2 at the roll above the belly button  I am about 8 month post delivery of my perfect baby girl and would love to lose the not so perfect post baby pudge/rolls-----39 big roll below the belly button, 38 right at the belly button and 36.5 at the roll above the belly button
Thighs: 24 each-----23 each
Knees: L 15 3/4 R 16-----15.5 each
Left calf: 15 1/4-----15
Right calf: 15 1/2-----15
Right upper arm: 12"-----11
Left upper arm: 12"-----11

 Hard Core is not going as well as I would like. Now that I have slimmed down a couple inches I need to do the muscle work in those areas. I have 27 days to the marathon and a strong core will be a huge boost to my training and race day efforts. Not to mention I can start toning some areas that are still not where I want them to be.


Thankful Three

1. For running partners
2. For a wonderful dinner with my family
3. For a fun week ahead 

Friday Five-the late night edition

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say?  And why are you waiting?  

~Stephen Levine

1. Bittersweet. I had the day off, but had to go into work. I was told I could leave once all our customers had been served, usually 4:00. The last person walked in at 3:57 and was a 45 minute interview, ugh. I rushed home, but had to stop at the bank to get money for the babysitter. I took the exit for the bank, called my hubby to tell him I was stopping off at the bank and he said he had already gotten cash. I got back on the freeway, hit traffic, then finally made it home. I took the day off to shop for the family that would be coming to visit us Saturday night. Great, now I'll have to try and squeeze in some serious shopping tomorrow, right?! Wrong. Every last person, save for the in-laws of course, have backed out of attending for one reason or another. Bittersweet? Yes, having them over at this particular time is my thing, bitter :( The fact that I don't have to prepare anything after a planned long day tomorrow, sweet.
2. Morning run of 3 miles was cancelled due to required rest and snuggling. Wish I hadn't needed to go to work, I could've slept in. Oh well, good news is my running buddy is up for 15-20 miles Sunday. I know a 5 mile range is pretty wide, but we're gonna see how we feel at 15 and go from there. I love having a running partner and am so grateful.
3. Watched the Mexican Bicentennial on DVR, WOW! Freaking amazing, wish I had been in Mexico City, I was moved to tears. Viva!
4. I get to go to Public Affairs Training next week. I will be way from home from lunch time Monday to Dinner time Wednesday. Like how I center my time around eating? I am so excited to mingle with other professionals, sleep in, since we don't meet each day until 8:00, and relax once the work day is over. Sure I will miss my family, but I think I will come back a well rested Momma. I am not sure when the hubby gets to recover from those days, but I am sure we'll work something out.
5. Do you say your sorry the second you realize you hurt someone? Do you wait and let the friend rebound on it's own without formally acknowledge your role in the hurt feelings. Repent to a hire power?

Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them.  ~Author Unknown

Thankful Three

1. For my mom, totally helped me out in a pinch tonight
2. For not having a lot to apologize for. I am so not perfect, but as I get older I do less stupid things requiring apologies
3. For my 2 year old son who is so eagerly learning Spanish, his accent is perfect!

Tuesday Tidbit: What are you a size 6?!

We do not see things as they are.
We see them as we are.
~ The Talmud ~

So my niece turned 21 a couple weeks ago and our schedules just haven't been inline enough to get together sooner. So tonight we went to a lovely dinner at one of the few trendy places we have in town. She came to my house so we could ride together and she was with me when I was getting dressed to go out. If you have been following this blog at all you'll know I have lost a little weight. Like 32 lbs since April. While getting dressed, my nieces says, "OMG Auntie Sophie, you are so skinny, what are you a size 6?!" Now if you have seen any pictures of me, you will know how ridiculous it sounds to put my name and the words "Size 6" in the same sentence. So you have a frame of reference I am a size 12 and a size 10 would be on the skinny for my body type. I got to an 8 once when I was coaching basketball and running a real lot, but that lasted all of one basketball coaching season.

Back to the story. We weren't exactly hungry yet, so we went to the mall to get a few things. While at the mall I couldn't help but trying to understand why she said size 6? Was she just trying to flatter me? Is she just so small, like a size 0, that a size 6 looks big to her? I would've pegged her as a 4 or 6 myself. So I asked, "What were you thinking asking if I was a size 6?" Her response: "I don't know, you were changing and you looked so skinny I thought we were the same size. Your legs look freaking awesome, I want your legs."

Ladies and Gentleman, this is coming from my 5 foot 6 in niece, who is thin and super cute. And she doesn't think she is "big" so this perception was not coming from a "I am fat, you are skinny we must be the same size" kind of place. She just actually thought I was skinnier than I am and I am totally up for taking the compliment.

Thankful Three

1. For Kind words, positively skewed perceptions
2. For Strong legs
3. For Creme Brulee

Monday Motivation: Boycavich or Nothing

So I went to sub in on a Monday night co-ed softball team tonight and as it turns out, I was one of 7 girls. It was a 9:15 game, it was cold and I so didn't need to be there. I politely smile, thanked them for the call and said to call me next week if you need someone. No hurt feelings, but I would much rather be snuggled on the couch watching TV. Which brings me to my Monday Motivation, trashy teeny bopper TV.

I was feeling a little glum when I got home thinking about the expenses of all our home repairs when my husband flashed to our DVR to show me the highly anticipated season premier of Gossip Girl. Then my husband proceeded to leave the room. I asked if he wanted to stay and he said it's "Boycavich or Nothing" making reference to Secret Life of the American teenager. Oh, and you had to just love that Catherine is back in Vampire Diaries. I do believe Biggest Loser is starting soon too. Oh, I was meant to be a couch potato, sweat, a blanket, yummy snacks & TV....I love fall!

So who wants a running update? I do! Who's got one, anyone? Yeah, well as you can see from my fancy blinking thing on this blog, I have 1 month left until my marathon and I haven't logged more than a 15 mile run. What the heck? I keep letting life get in the way. Last week was busy, this week will be busier. Oh yeah and next week I have to travel for 3 days for work. Ugh, make time stop for a second so I can breathe, then nap. Both are totally needed.

Random occurrence: Husband & I are at  dinner when a nice lady approaches us to tell us how cute the kids are. We both smile and nod. Then this lovely stranger looks at my son and literally says, "Is he yours too?" YES. YES. YES. The blonde haired, blue eyed child is mine. Is that really so hard to believe. It happens like 80% of the time I am out with my son. I look like the nanny I guess?!

Thankful Three:

1. For my little screaming, fever & diarrhea having 10 month old with no teeth, or sign of teeth, but every sign of teething  going to bed so nice and easily tonight. Tank you, thank you, thank you.
2. For my cute new purple long sleeve from REI that has little thumb holes, it was pretty cool tonight and the long sleeve was much needed.
3. For strangers who are completely ridiculous.