“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen.”
Yeah, all that happy go lucky crap I was dishing out earlier this week was my way of convincing myself that I haven't totally sabotaged my chances at finishing this marathon. I am not convinced. Ugh, everyday I tell myself I am going to go out for a run to test my knee, and everyday I find an excuse not to go. I am sure that my excuse tomorrow will be that I am not going to bed until midnight (Tuesday) and therefore will be too tired Wednesday morning (today). We'll see, I should be more positive. Honestly I am really afraid. Afraid of what?
- Afraid I'll get in a couple miles on a training run and have to quit because of my knee...I know it's better to know now than on race day.
- Afraid that I'll feel great and push it, then hurt myself again
- Afraid I'll be fine and actually have to run the thing (I'm only half joking)
- Afraid that my 2 1/2 weeks off (it feels like a month) will have undone all my training
- Afraid for no other reason than 26.2 miles is scary
So why have I self-sabotaged? So I don't have to answer any of the questions I have about my ability. I read other runner blogs, I knew the self doubt would come, but I am really convincing myself that 26.2 is not the best idea. I really want to run the SF course for the sake of the awesome views, the Tiffany's necklace and overall feeling of excitement and energy that 20,000 people bring to an event. I have a plan and a partner, if we have to walk the whole gosh darn thing, then we are going to do it! I know I sound so ready right? but I am so not. Good night Bloggy Blog friends.
I almost forgot, we have a WINNER! Random.Org has chosen lucky number 13! Isn't that amazing, 13 on the 13th! So Ms. Meredith please message me at sophiakobrin at yahoo dot com with your mailing address and I'll get your goodies in the mail to you ASAP. Thanks for following!
- For wicked awesome Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches
- For discovering Five Guys burger joint, seriously may never need In-n-Out again
- For my husband's new truck, probably going to have to borrow it...alot