Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
~Dalai LamaLast night was book club night. We alternate months watching a movie one month and getting together for dinner and book discussion the next. Last night was a movie night, we watched "How Do You Know"
Not the best movie ever, but I enjoyed watching it with the girls. One unexpected thing I got from watching this was a feeling of uncertainty. Am I doing what I love? Reese Witherspoon's character is a competetive softball player and Owen Wilson's character is a baseball player. There were scenes with players practicing on the field or hanging out in the dugout, then other scenes in locker rooms with players getting iced, getting into spas etc. It was very nostalgic. I was not a softball player, but I was a basketball player. I miss the days when all I had to think about, aside from school, was waking up eating, practicing, eating, practicing some more, eating and practicing again. Yes ladies and gentlemen I lived for three-a-days. I came home from the movie very pensive. You see I don't coach any more because an 8 hour a day job, 2 toddlers, oh yeah and I have a husband, take up most of my time. Some days they take all my time. I do not have the commitment necessary to devote to a team of basketball players. As an adult, there are very few options to play with parks and recreation adult leagues being dominated by 18-25 year olds who played high school ball, but never went on to play college ball.
Today I had a chance to relive the glory days. I played in my junior college alumni game. I ran with the girls, posted up, was fed the ball and guess what happened? I bricked almost every shot. Seriously had enough for my own housing development. I left a little embarrassed, but invigorated at the same time. Running with the younger crowd, check. Getting myself opportunities to score, check. Playing the role of directing and helping others score, check. I have all the components, just couldn't finish the job. Our team won, but the margin could have been more significant than 4 points.
So why am I spewing all this? I miss team sports. Running is not a team sport. I love running and blogland makes it feel team oriented. I love TRI and am part of a TRI club, but need to be more active. I try lots of activity and I finally have realized that I am doing it to get back to that same feeling I had as a basketball player. I want to feel like an athlete. I want to be competitive. I want to have someone to push, to push me, to high five, to depend on and who can depend on me. Like the Dalai Lama says, "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions." I am happy. I am a happy wife, a happy mother and happily employed. I can happily run almost whenever I want and my family supports all my other TRIs and miscellaneous activities...wine club, book club, board member and whatever else I squeeze in the calendar. Family is my team right now. I am trying to make work feel more team oriented. I am pushing my running more so that I am feeling more competitive and athletic. But I still feel like something is missing and I can't pin point what it is...I may have it and just not know it. I just can't figure out what it is. As soon as I figure it out though, I will integrate it into my happiness by taking action.
- This blog outlet
- Alumni Games
- Frozen yogurt with the family