Tuesday Tidbit: Tough Mudder Tahoe Summer

"The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful."

~E. E. Cummings

So about 3 months ago I got this text from my 23 year old niece. Her 21-year twin bother and sister were also part of the group text.

The original text was followed with this motivational statement

Super Hubby, happened to be signed up for this run too. Let me just get a few things straight here. 1. Super Hubby does not run 2. Super Hubby does not workout and 3. Super Hubby was indulging a group of about 8 of his friends. I had wanted to do this race last year with my sister-in-law and her BFF, but things didn't workout. Super Hubby was invited to do this and signed up for this event in January. Also in January a group from the gym I was working out at was putting together a team. I opted out for a couple of reasons 1. I didn't want to seem like the copy cat wife that can't let her husband do anything that she can't do and 2. I ended up having a health issue that side-lined me. When I got this text I held off on saying yes for a couple weeks. That health issue was still plaguing me, but confident that if I put positive energy out in the world, I would get positive outcomes, I signed up on May 1st for this July 13th event. On May 2nd I was told I had to have surgery. So much for putting the positive energy out there, plus a hefty registration fee down the drain. FAIL. 

You may be wondering why I wouldn't register for the event with my gym group so I wouldn't be a copy cat, but signed up when my niece asked. The answer is easy, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for family and in this case, what great memories to create! I was invited to hang with my nieces and nephews and got solidify my place as the cool aunty, my sister can be jealous now LOL

A month's worth of doctors office fiasco's pushed my surgery to June 18th. I went in for a pre-op the week before and wouldn't you know it, no surgery needed. SHIT! I haven't trained at all for Tough Mudder and now I get to do it! Woo Hoo. So I totally worked out right? Uh, nope. I am a self sabotager. Actually, out of frustration I hit the gym in mid-May figuring I'd better get strong so I can heal faster after surgery, not a sufficient amount of cardio, but lots of strength training. I continued this until the week of the race where I of course fell off the wagon. I do this so that if I couldn't finish I could blame it on not working out that week. Makes total sense right?! Uh, no, yes I am a crazy person LOL Without futher delay, I present to you my Tough Mudder Team.

Nephew, Niece, Niece's BFF, Me

Super Hubby and my niece-so super cute!

Sure things didn't go as planned from January to now with my weigh loss goals, my health issue, work or training for Tough Mudder, but I am really happy that my mind and body is strong enough to crank out 10.5 miles, 19 obstacles and 1800 ft elevation gain starting at 6800 ft above sea level. Yeah, I think that makes me pretty awesome. It was easier than I thought it was gonna be, but that doesn't mean it didn't totally kick my ass. I look like I was in a car wreck or something.

An early look at my knees

Just a few short hours later

Ok so I can't complain about bruises when Super Hubby looks like this

Why I Kick A$$: I was slow on the uphills, but overall hung pretty well with kids 10+ years younger than I am.

The Big Picture: It was a shitty spring time, but as my husband always says, things have a way of working themselves out. Maybe that positive energy May 1st registration the day before I my doctor's appt did it or maybe the 5AM gym workouts to get strong helped my health issue go away so I could do this awesome even with my niece and nephew.

Thankful Three

1. While I didn't do the run with Super Hubby, it is cool that we did the same event the same day and can talk about the obstacles etc. together
2. For having the fitness level to do something with no training
3. For being silly enough to wear the crazy T-shirt. If you know me, you know I am usually too embarrassed to be silly.

Friday Five: Because I couldn't just pick 1

Good for the body is the work of the body, 

good for the soul the work of the soul, 

and good for either the work of the other.  

~Henry David Thoreau

I love how so much time lapses between posts. I remember when I tried to post every day or every other, maybe 1x per week or strategically post on Monday's when everyone was plugging back it. The thing is I am lazy, I am the slacker that I claim to be, not always proud of it, but learning to accept it in many regards. Blogging is one of those things I am accepting. Like many of you I think of a new post every day, I flesh it out in my brain, get excited about it, but unlike most of the blogs I follow, I lack the follow through. Whether it be time constraints or the fact that I thought about it so much that I lost the energy to actually want to put the time in to type it up. I'll be maximizing this week's Friday Five by catching you up, as I do on the many things that have been going on since my last post. I'll attempt chronological order, but shit I probably won't be able to do that.

1. So not too long ago, April 24th I went to a House Party! No, not that kind of party, it is concept born in the Another Mother Runner circle where two of my favorite running celebs, writers, bloggers, podcast makers and Runner's World contributing writers get a bunch of Badass Mother Runner's together to have community. Sure, for me that is mostly the Facebook posts they do daily or the emails, but hey, I dig it. AMR did a "House Party" in Sacramento, CA, but it was at the local fleet feet. It was so fun, there was a book reading, great shopping for both AMR stuff and discounted Fleet Feet stuff and lets not forget the food & drinks! I am so not a star struck person, but I couldn't resist getting a photo in. I ended up inviting a friend and my niece and we hit a trendy restaurant first, had dinner and drinks and then went to the event. I ordered a book and T-shirt and what luck, I received them the a week later even though they prepped me that it could take "several weeks." The timing couldn't have been more perfect, I had a shitty week and at the end of it I got my book, the next day my shirt and I got the smile I needed.
   
   
2. I went to my doctor. I am gaining weight. I won't be dramatic and say that I am fat. In reflecting on blog posts, I think I talk about it too much and unnecessarily. I mean really, why does it take gaining weight to realize how good I had it. I remember working hard and getting to my happy weight and fitting in my size 10s with ease. I posted about getting tone, stronger and blah-blah-blah. Then I put on 5 pounds over reacted and went on a stupid 1200 cal diet and did the whole vegetarian, cut out fried food approach, with GUSTO I might add and gained another 5. GAINED! So I gave up for a few months. Really, the life I want to live is that of exercise, mostly good eating and comfort in my own skin and as a result clothes. Is that too much to ask? Anyway, I went to my doctor. He has some hunches, sent me for labs and will see me again on Monday to see if we can't figure out this weight gain, because remember that 5, well in a year and half it has turned into 15 to even 20 at times. I do admit I don't eat great, but I do workout and I do count calories. I have done the endocrinologist thing, registered dietician, caliper testing and hydrostatic body fat testing with BMR/RMR. I put in too much effort to struggle this much. My current doctor prescribed torture (only 3 weeks) is to eat less carbs. No he didn't say do Adkins or South Beach etc. He just asked what I normally ate, opened his eyes wide and picked his jaw up off the floor and said just eat less carbs. He said I am smart girl, track my food, eat less carbs and see me in three weeks for lab results and we'll go from there. HELLO I need more direction than that! So I am blindly, ok not blindly, I have scoured the internet, but basically with no real "plan"--I am eating less carbs. In 10 days have lost 10 pounds. I am not sure it is the less carbs or the fewer calories, but something is working. On the flip side, I have no idea where the 10 lbs. went, I don't look different, my clothes don't fit differently and it feels crazy to work this hard for scale results, but not feel it. P.S. I will never do this low carb long term. I have so much new found respect for those who HAVE to do low carb for their health conditions, this shit is hard! I find support by knowing I am not alone. Tonia over at Racing with Babes seems to be putting herself through the ringer with no positive results. In case it isn't obvious, I'm so not in her category of fitness, she is complete rock star, super committed and tough as nails, but sounds like she is having similar difficulties weight.

   

   Super Hubby makes the best low carb dinners, lettuce wraps

3. I registered for Tough Mudder Tahoe Summer. My niece and nephew roped me in and I couldn't turn down an opportunity to bond, especially with fun physical fitness with my 23 and 21 years niece and nephew. I am just hoping to survive it.    
4. The day after I signed up for Tough Mudder I found out I have to have surgery. Grrrr. I kinda new a surgery might be in my future, but it had been 3 months of monitoring my issue, I thought I would just be in perpetual monitoring mode. Um, not so much. It is fairly minor and if things go as planned it will be outpatient with only 2 weeks recovery. Since Tough Mudder is really a survival event, I don't need to worry about being fast, just being tough enough. Surgery sucks BTW. No it's not scheduled yet, but I am chomping at the bit to get it over with so I have enough time to recover for the summer event.
5. Finally, you have suffered through the first 4 you can hang in there for the last one. It is my Mother's Day. Mexican Mother's day is May 10th every year. Each year it is better and better. I got cards from Super Hubby including a written reminder that I, if you can believe it,  I am the most beautiful woman he see's every day. He tells me every day I am beautiful and he knows I struggle with my current size 12 body image and am constantly striving for size 10. He tells me everyday, not kidding every-single-day that I am beautiful & sexy. I am an extremely lucky girl. He also paid attention  last week when I said I needed a fake plant to round out the decor in my office and got me the perfect one. My kids both drew pictures of me in the cards they gave me, gave me flowers, even daisies covered in spray glitter from my Bug. This morning I spent the day at Duder's school for Muffins with Mom. He didn't even noticed I passed on the muffins, he was just so excited I was there and could meet his BFFs mom so we could schedule summer playdates LOL Priorities. This afternoon, I will have a treat with my daughter at her school where I'll get pampered at a spa day. May I remind you that the Bug is 3 and pampered means, I will have crazy hair, purple eye shadow and 4 different kinds of polish on my finger nails. I know, sounds completely dreamy!! Here is how my daughter, who will ONLY wear dresses plays: by climbing the back stop at my son's T-ball game. The other picture is what happens when you leave your swim gear in the back seat, my crazy little Duder.
   
   

Why I Kick A$$: I am a mom!
The Big Picture: It's a 12. It is not the end of the world. We'll see what the dr. says Monday and once this surgery stuff is out of the way, I am seriously putting the MyFitnessPal away, hiding the scale and gonna try and live a body conscience free month. We'll start there. I'll go on perceived fitness, satiety for food and fit for clothes and just see if I can't do this with a less obsessive approach. Just an idea. We'll see after all these doctor appts are out of the way.
Thankful Three:

1. Super Hubby
2. Duder
3. Bug

Sunday Summary: Catching up to me

Make the most of yourself, 

for that is all there is of you. 

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday was a great example of how bad things lead to good things and cycling back over and over. I didn't get mad about the lame things and was really greatful for the good things. It is a step in the right direction of where I want to ended up. Someday when I grow up, I want to be able to decide I am happy, in control of my actions and responses and be. Be happy, Be confident, Be a mom, Be a friend, Be wife, Be a boss etc. and feel totally like it is my decision.

Yesterday:
Perceived Bad: Woke up early because Super Hubby went golfing at like 6am so Krazy Kids woke up at 6 am too, so no sleeping in on my "sleep in Saturday"
Good: Up early enough to get everyone breakfast and ready for the gym with Kids Club hours before T-ball pictures
Perceived Bad: I locked my keys in the car Friday night & didn't realize it until we were heading out the door
Good: My inlaws only live a mile a way and have 2 cars, 1 of which is outfitted with 2 cars seats for my Krazy Kids, they didn't need both cars so my MIL hooked it up!
Perceived Bad: I left my regular swim bag in my car, didn't have a locker lock, swim goggles or anything like that.
Good: I had $20 in my wallet, bought new goggles, left my bag pool side, swam 1000 yards, the most in one session I have done this year so far and no one stole my stuff and we made it to t-ball on time

The day continued this way, each of the Perceived Bad could have cause me to have a personal, poor -me-temper-tantrum-meltdown, but it didn't. I find that I am a stronger me when Super Hubby is away, even for a few hours because I know I have no one else to rely on in those moments. I could look at that as bad, or that I am a bad person for being weak and childish when Super Hubby is there to pick up the slack, but instead I see it as a positive. I love, trust and know that I picked an amazing man who allows me to rest when he is around, I don't have to be Ms. Tough Stuff every second of every day and that is such a gift. Today I was supposed to volunteer during my kids religious school. The first 45 mins are parent-kid time and they suggested that this one time, parents didn't have to stay for parent kid time so they could volunteer to help at a baking workshop. I wasn't comfortable leaving my 3-yr old for that 45 min, even though there were plenty of amazing moms who would have taken her under their wing for that 45 min. My wise, confident, decisive Super Hubby pointed out that I am the mom. I don't need to feel pressured by the recommendation, I should do what I felt comfortable doing. WOW! Really? Just like that, DECIDE, no I am staying for the 45 min parent-kid session and will just volunteer my time after? So amazing, how do people do that? LOL I am so decisive at work, at home, being myself-- well that is something I am still learning how to do.

I might have some news on my next BIG event in my next post. I haven't officially registered so I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I can tell you it has me excited. Excited to train. Excited to get stronger. Excited to want to workout. I have been fleshing out my regular routine workout plans, but once I register for this event, the plans will have to become more aggressive than just walking a mile during my breaks or hitting Bikram every now and then or swimming an easy 1000 yards.

The Big Picture: The scale isn't moving, but I did get a compliment that I am having better posture, in the form of "You are standing so tall and look really strong." I'll take it!
Why I Kick A$$: Slowly but surely, increasing my swim endurance from 500 yards to 1000 yards. Hoping May will be my 1500 yard month. Since I am only swimming 1-2 times a week, I can't accelerate too quickly.
Thankful Three:

1. For a desire to be fit again, I rally think the sun has a whole lot to do with this increased motivation.
2. For family, specifically hang out time with my cousin. I really feel like myself when we're together.
3. For wanting to blog this weekend.

Tuesday Tidbit: I am still here

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, 

don't adjust the goals, 

adjust the action steps.

~Confucius

So it's been a while, here's a little update, my health situation is still unresolved. After a month of monitoring and restricted physical activity my doctor released me to resume normal activity while we monitor for another month. Lame to still be in waiting, but the upside is the working out again, I was on such a roll in January, I wish he would have left the exercise in the whole time. Although I got cleared to work out again on on February 28th it has been kind of a slow pick up. I ran/walked an 11 mile training run a few days after being leased only to be so super sore the following few days that I skipped my 12 miler the next weekend. I completed my half marathon on 3/17. I ran mostly until mile 10 when for the first time ever I got severe foot and calf cramps. I actually wasn't sure I'd finish! I think it stemmed from having had a stomach bug earlier in the week and not properly re-hydrating. The most important thing is hobbling or not I finished.

Since the half marathon my husband has totally stepped up to help encourage me forward. I have worked out more consistently this past week and a half and I am also incorporating more strength training and am hoping in a few weeks I start to feel stronger again. In the last week I have jumped on my bike and swam for the first time since last summer! I am really excited again and hope that my next doctor appt. next week is good news, I obviously do not take derailment well. I'm aiming for a minimum of 1 blog post a month, I'd love to say I'd do it daily or weekly, but seriously not in the cards these days, but I do enjoy posting when I give myself the opportunity.

Why I Kick A$$: I am back at it.
The Big Picture: Oh who the hell knows, I am not sure I am playing this fitness game the right way, but I guess it can't hurt to keep at it.
Thankful Three:

1. For Super Hubby's support.
2. For push-ups, they are my friend.
3. For flourless chocolate cake.

Monday Motivation: Walking

All truly great thoughts 

are conceived by walking.

Friedrick Nietzsche

So the last time I posted I was in the best mood and had gone on a trail run, uh hike, jog...whatever, then I registered for a local training group prepping for a half marathon in March and feeling on top of the world. I ran my first long run with them on Sunday January 27th. Mind you have I haven't run more than 1-2 miles since I can remember and I showed up and ran 5.35 non-stop in 1:02. This was good for me and especially my first time out after a long hiatus. That night I felt a tiny pain. The pain grew and grew and I decided to try and sleep it off. Monday morning, uh pain this there, doctor's office called and long story short I am sidelined at least until February 28th. I'll spare you the details of my health issues, it is not serious, but I am limited to walking for the remainder of the month until I go back in for a follow up. My hubby even asked the doctor for me if I could maintain my weight training and swim or something that is low impact and he said, absolutely not, I can't even do yoga!

So here I am post temporary sideline diagnosis and I am going back and forth with having mini pity parties for myself while junk food binging and then feeling awesome and eating within my calorie target trying to maintain my current accomplishments. It is such an emotional thing for me. I had really been doing so well with my weight training and I was really ready to add in cardio more consistently. Most of the pain has either shifted into dull constant annoyance with a few stretches of no pain at all. I am feeling more on the up and up, but the restrictions suck.

Today I did another long walk with my training group, yup, I didn't give up. I went from B group that runs 10-12 minute miles to D group that walks. I covered the same ground as my last run, 5.36 miles, but this time is took me 1:14 and I burned about half as many calories. Also, walking is tough, really super duper tough and uses all kind of funny muscles. Like I almost have a shin splint thing happening on my left shin. Ugh, I know some movement is better than no movement and really it isn't about the calories burned, it is about being fit, but still, I am vain, I want on some level to be thin, but apparently haven't quite committed enough to ditch the sweet tooth lol All in good time and in good balance. Perhaps this sideline is a blessing in disguise.

Why I Kick A$$: While I may not be feeling very successful on the health and fitness front, I have definitely been doing well at work.
The Big Picture: February 28th is around the corner, I am already feeling better and walking is keeping my legs used to pounding the pavement. This whole thing is just blip on the radar a very small set back if it can even be called that.
Thankful Three:

1. For new opportunities.
2. For lessons in needing to take care of myself.
3. For a light weekend, much needed down time.

Tuesday Tidbit: This post is more than a tidbit

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those 

who are more fortunate than we are, 

we should compare it with the lot 

of the great majority of our fellow men. 

It then appears that we are among 

the privileged.

~Hellen Keller

I have had a pretty amazing weekend. It all started Thursday night when Super Hubby and I went to the Trampled by Turtles concert at the Fillmore in SF. We really love this bluegrass band and try to see them every time they are in California. The concert is one in a series of dates we have had over the last three months. Trying to make our couples time more date like has been fun. We have done mini golf, movies, bowling and now a concert. Oh to be young again. We still keep our usual dinners and lunches out together, but the activity based stuff is really fun!

Friday Super Hubs had to work while I had the day off. I had a few plans move around, but I basically landed on getting Duder a big boy full size bed, having breakfast with a very cool friend, lunch with the Hubs before he set out for his weekend fishing trip then the kids and I had dinner with his extended family including the New Jersey contingent who is visiting this week. It was a full Friday, but full of love, friendship, fun and gratitude. The Bug was less than thrilled with her new toddler sized bed and had more fun hanging with her Big Bro in his bed.

You thought Friday was full didn't you, well Saturday we knocked out soccer pictures, a couple hours with the New Jersey crowd, a soccer game where my Duder scored a goal from across the field, a birthday party at the science museum and dinner out with my BFF. Did I mention Duder scored a goal? So he is playing defense and goes to kick the ball to clear it and it is one hell of a kick and the ball rolls into the goal on the other side of the court. It is indoor soccer played on basketball courts at the local high school. He almost did it a second time, but the other team got to it.

Sunday, oh this was a major recovery day. We reluctantly got out of bed and met some friends at the gym for a workout date, stopped at Trader Joe's made a quick lunch and started some epic naps. The Bug and I slept about 2.5 hours and Duder went down for 45 minutes and after a mean look for waking me up, he laid down in my bed and promptly went back to sleep. He ended up sleeping an additional 3 hour nap. He obviously needed it.

I am one lucky girl, I got to go trail running. I really can't tell you how wonderfully excited I was about it. It is with a couple girls I ran with a couple years ago. One of them kept running and is now an ultra trail runner, the other finished her marathon and took time off and I am obviously getting back into it again. I was a little nervous to be using a non-family babysitter for the first time, but my gal pal swears by her and for good reason, she was great! Did I mention I got a new headband? Yup, it is pretty and was almost free. Free in that I really didn't spend money on it, but I did spend enough money at the shoe store to earn points to "buy" it.

Why I Kick A$$: While I may not get to spend frequent time with my friends, I have an amazing group of women I am proud to have in my life. When I judge myself or compare myself to others, these friends really add the perspective I need to ease my worry wort self.

Thankful Three:

1. For being busy with family and friends when Super Hubby is away, makes the absence more palatable.
2. For friends and family who share experience so I can learn from them, awesome-awesome people.
3. For fitness, I am not the skinniest, fittest person ever, but damn it, I have been much happier and more balanced having fitness back in my life.

Monday Motivation: Getting Dunked

I keep trying to lose weight... 

but it keeps finding me!  

~Author Unknown

So last Saturday I had a great post planned where I would share with you the results of my hydrostatic body fat testing. A local crossfit had a mobile unit coming out and a good friend of my mine signed us up, I was looking forward to the 01-05-13 date for a couple weeks. We went and the parking lot was empty. My first thought was we were at the wrong place, her first thought, we were scammed LOL Actually, a pipe had burst late the night before and we didn't get notification. Our make up session was Friday 01-11-13 and I couldn't be more elated with the results.

The Beginning
In fall/winter of 2011 I started to gain a few pounds... like 5. Not a big deal. I probably over reacted and started watching what I ate along with picking up my running again. Suddenly my 5 was 10 and I couldn't get the scale to budge! Next steps: primary care, off the 1 medication I was taking, then referral to an endocrinologist in May 2012 and nothing. Blood work, fine. My eating, was healthy including a 6 week stint of mostly plant based diet and zero fried foods. I was eating 1200 calories and exercising. When that didn't work, I gave up, ate what I wanted and initially lost a few pounds so I started watching what I ate again and gained another 5lbs. Dang it! So I stopped exercising and didn't watch what I ate.

The Middle
I went to an RD in the late summer time and she informed me that I was way under eating and used a simple method of my body weight divided by 2.2 to find my weight in kilos and multiplied that by 20 to find my target calories for weightloss. I was also informed that it was unnecessary, unless training super hard, to replace my calories for regular workouts. I could just structure my meals so that I ate near enough my workouts or had snacks around then to stave off hunger. It worked for a few weeks, I lost 3 pounds and my goal conservatively was about 1 lb. a week. Then the weight started to come back on and I was too frustrated to play. So we are approaching the 1-year mark and I decided to workout again. I am going on almost a month of working out and eating 1700 calories. The first few days I lost 1-3 lbs. and then I was back up another 5 or more. I even got to a point where I worked out 12 out of 15 consecutive days. I have been doing lots of strength training and have been doing more and more cardio over the last two weeks.  In a year I have put on 15 pounds!

The Present
Am I losing weight? No. Does weight loss take longer than a month? Yes. I get it, but I feel hungry all the time, am watching what I eat and exercising, I should be seeing something. So fast forward to Friday. My body fat testing didn't yield shocking results. I had had quality caliper testing done in the late summer-fall and the results are fairly close. I am 24.3% fat. I need to lose 5.8 lbs to lower that percentage to 22% and any muscle gain changes the results dramatically. The ultimate goal is 20% or less. What was shocking news was to have my fat and lean body mass factored in to my RMR. When I run my RMR online based on height, weight, age and activity level it is usually in the high 1500's almost 1600. So I was worried a little with 1700 being higher than that, but the RD knows better than a computer generated generic number. With more information, comes a stronger answer. My new, old, whatever, my current RMR result is 1958 calories. Yes, to lay in bed all day and breathe is 1958. If I roll out of bed and walk to the bathroom, I am already creating a calorie deficit! Should I be replacing my workout calories? YES! So at 1700 calories I was already 258 under plus whatever I burned walking around doing my regular routine, let alone exercising. My body for a year has been in a perpetual state of starvation.

The Reason Why and What's Next
So why did this all happen late fall 2011? I stopped running. I took time off gained weight and when I went back to it, over compensated by restricting my calories. I can run and pretty much eat whatever I want. All I had to do was one or the other, but both was too much on my body, apparently. So I will be slowly upping my caloric intake 2-3 days at a time so my body doesn't hold on to everything thinking I will go back into a period of starvation. I am at 1800 and am eating more of my workout calories. On Wednesday I'll go to 1850, next Sunday 1900 and by 01-23-13 I'll be at 1958 and hopefully be consuming closer to all my workout calories. I know it'll take time for my body to adjust so I am hoping by the end of February I start to see a reduction. Once I stabilize, I'll start a normal weigh loss program, if necessary. You know, the 500 calorie a day deficit blah, blah, blah.

Why I Kick A$$: Because after only 2 days of upping my calories the scale ballooned 5lbs and it didn't bother me. I'll keep weighing in because at some point the numbers will be validating again, I just have to be patient in the mean time.

Thankful Three:

1. For date night with my girlfriend
2. For date night with Super Hubby
3. For a wonderful dinner

Tuesday Tidbit: Super Original

res·o·lu·tion  

/ˌrezəˈlo͞oSHən/

Noun A firm decision to do or not to do something. A formal expression of opinion or intention agreed on by a legislative body, committee, or other formal meeting, typically after taking...

Synonyms decision - determination - resolve - solution

Ok, so not exactly super original, yes I'll be talking about resolutions like most people in blogland. LOL ok, maybe not as I have already read some posts about how some prefer not to call them resolutions. I have heard To-Do-List, Goals, Challenges whatever, January 1 starts a new year and a natural jumping off point for things to do, change, accomplish etc. This is a concept that super hubby does not engage in, there is not planning ahead, if he wants to do things, he'll start the moment he decides he wants to do something and only tackles things he plans to truly complete. I wish I had his resolve to only spend energy on things I'll actually do and his sense of freedom from the rest of the worlds schedule. So here is our families' New Year's Whatever List:

The Bug: She wants to have a snowflake garden this year
Duder: He wants to go to the snow and learn how to make a snowman
Super Hubby: For a guy who doesn't set goals, he is planning to do a pretty cool activity this year, Tough Mudder! Yup, my husband who hates running and thought the Merrill Down and Dirty 5K was kinda challenging has just decided he'd do tough mudder with his buddies. He'll finish, have fun and likely do it all without doing a shred of training. I plan to beg and plead until race day for him to work out with me and run with me in preparation for his event, but really, just so we can hang out doing something I like to do.

Me: Geez where do I start? I have lofty ideas, hence the "Ambitious" part of my blog title. I am working on reigning it in. I am also a slacker so even if I have a narrowed list of things, I have a difficult time following through timely on my goals. I start strong and sputter, until I have only a vague memory of what I even started out to do. So with all this in mind, here is my list, my living list of things I'd like to focus on this year.

1. Save more money, Super Hubby is going to find a good mutual for me.
2. Take my family to Disneyland, shooting for this summer.
3. Get leaner, I was going to say fit, I was going to say skinny, but I am already fit and I will never be "skinny." Generally leaner would mean losing about 10-15 lbs of fat, but we'll see how this goal changes after I get my Hydrostatic Body Fat testing and RMR results Saturday. I like how I look and feel in a 10 so that is the tangible goal right now because "weight" and the F*&^ing scale are not really anything I am happy about. The fluctuations are not making sense to me, but I feel good so I am just trying to focus on that.
4. Run. I ran last year, but let my frustrations with my weight struggles derail me in late spring and never picked myself back up. On the schedule, a 10K in January, a half marathon in March and I am still looking for something for other months in the year. I would like running 2-3 days a week to become more routine for me without losing my strength training.
5. Do things that help me be a happier person, things that are about me. Selfish, selfish me totally guilt free. Blog. Read. Spend time with friends, etc. I need to schedule me time. I find myself being jealous of the folks who have scheduled events like book clubs or bunco or take long weekend trips like my hubby takes with his fishing buddy etc. I just need to decide what would make me happy, throw it on the calendar and commit to it.

So not a ton of earth shatteringly fantastic ideas here, but I think these 5 things are manageable. How will I track? Eh, I don't want the tracking to be super serious, but I have been using MyFitnessPal for food and exercise tracking. I have tried dailymile in previous years, but I could hardly remember to log my miles. I will post my "ME" activities on the calendar and I will count races as me time. I am trying to pace myself here and not over commit only to beat myself up later for failing.

Why I Kick A$$: I started my list already....just gotta keep going.
Thankful Three:

1. For tamales, have I posted this before?
2. For cupcakes, damn it... this is not helping my cause.
3. For having things to look forward to.

Thoughtful Thursday: Sitting Around

Life is to be lived. If you have to support yourself, 

you had bloody well better find some way 

that is going to be interesting. 

And you don't do that 

by sitting around. 

~Katharine Hepburn

It is no secret I have a desk job, but some how my brain has taken a while to totally process this hazardous fact of life. I have worked for the same agency for basically the same office for 8 years. The first 6 have been at desks with ergo chairs and ergo desks. I had access to foot rests, wrist rests, mouse pads with wrist support and risers for my monitors (I am pretty tall). Even with all of this I have had neck and shoulder problems from staring at a monitor for a good portion of my day. My current desk is not ergo and does not accomodate monitor risers. I still have a foot rest, wrist supports and an ergo chair. I have used a couple box type in-boxes to raise my monitors a couple extra inches. I only got wise to that after I needed months of chiropractic rehab for my neck and shoulders. Whine, whine, wah, wah, wah. So what I am really here to complain about, er, uh, talk about it how sitting is quite literally killing me.

People with desk jobs have a higher risk for:

• shorter life expectancy
• cardiovascular disease
• metabolic disorders
• pain related to poor posture
• obesity
• diabetes
• repetitive stress

What completely sucks about this is that even if I did an hour of yoga, ran in the morning before work and after work, nothing makes up for being sedentary for 8 hours a day. I have read lots of articles and basically they suggested getting up every 20 minutes to walk for 10-15 minutes. LOL I am not sure what kind of job allows for 10-15 minute breaks every 20 minutes, but mine sure doesn't. I try to walk over to my staff to talk to them when I can vs. the interoffice messaging system, email or phone. Realistically though, I don't have time to walk over to say something I can do by phone. Multitask. Multitask. Multitask.

So the longevity of my grandparents and family before them, all people who spent most of their day on their feet doing some sort of manual labor is not to be for me. My parents currently spend their days on their feet, laboring away. I am not raising a white flag or anything, but geez, it seems like I have pretty hazardous job, no? So while I  have managed to over come my shoulder and neck issues, I can't seem to shake the hip flexor fall out. They are tight. I get hammy and IT band problems when I run and it is not overuse or too fast too soon. I truly believe it's being in a darn seated pose for nearly 8 hours a day. So I am trying to work in a plan to help reduce some of the loss in flexibility and tension in my pelvis.



A lunge with the knee on the ground, hip thrust forward is a great way to open them up. I have another 5-6 stretches that are supposed to be helpful, some I can even do while sitting in my chair at work if you can believe it LOL What I would like to do is incorporate sun salutations into my daily waking routine. I can even do them at break in my office on days I am not wearing a skirt. I forget, that I have my own private office and can pretty much do these stretches daily without interruption on my breaks.

Do you have a desk job? How do you combat this sedentary disease called a desk job?

Why I Kick A$$: Because I was smart enough to earn a desk job, thanks mom and dad for the hard labor to get me here.

Thankful Three:

1. For feeling like doing something again
2. For friends who sign me up for hydrostatic testing
3. For Super Hubby who is supportive through my fitness, health and wellness ups and downs.

Tuesday Tidbit: Clue: This post is not about Christmas

I do want to get rich, 

but I never want to do 
what there is to do to get rich.

~Gertrude Stein

My scattered brain hardly knows where to start. I have so much to say and most times, the time it takes me to organize my thoughts discourages me from even typing up a post. Do you ever feel like that? Yeah, happens to me ALL.THE.TIME. That or I get bummed out by not posting more pictures. Truth is I am not a quick writer, these posts take me forever and pictures tack on just that much more time.

I spent some time listening to Gertrude Stein reading some of her own poetry, a great little poetry site called PoetryFoundation.org. It made me get all lofty thought and dreamy about how I'd like to live. Not because of what she was reading, but because of the kind of life she lead, it was very much her own. I can sometimes feel like I am on a hampster wheel called life. Wake up tired, go to work, come home tired, eat, repeat. I hate when I get into those ruts and I am obviously in one right now. So here is what my dream life looks like.... my husband calls it retirement.

A country house on a few acres. By country, I think more woods than plains. River and trails near by for me to hike, run and hubby to fish. The acreage is for the kids and dogs to have ample safe places to play. Near enough to a town big enough to have a social connection, but not invite too much traffic. I want to wake up lazily, eat, read, exercise, nap, write, eat and sleep. There must be a fire place. What do I want to write? I envision myself blogging more about what, who knows? I want to write short stories, light poetry and opinion columns about work, life and parenting. Notice how there is not job mentioned in this fantasy LOL I want all of these things, but it requires work and I don't really feel like it LOL The same can be said for my fitness goals, can I just have what I want without working for it.

So since this isn't going to happen any time soon, here is what is really happening in my life. I have three books I am reading ...or at least have cracked, but not finished:

• Let's Pretend This Never Happened, J. Lawson
• Gone Girl, G. Flynn
• The Right Questions, D. Ford (compliments of my friend and the existential phase she is going through)

Fit, Fat, Fabulous, Faker??? All of the above:

• I have some weight to lose. I would like to say 15 lbs, but it could be more it could be less.
• I want to fit into my 10's or at least be able to sit without my belly rolling into multiple rolls
• I want to ditch the funky aches and pains that come with too much weight on my bones
• A funny term I hadn't heard in awhile came up and sadly I totally fit this category right now, "Caterpillar" it is when you have so many rolls, like the bra roll, the muffin top and saddle bags etc. that you look like a caterpilliar.
• I signed up for a half marathon in March, so need some miles on these legs.
• A couple weeks ago I slowed down my fast food in take, didn't quit all together, but it's a start
• I started drinking more water and up'ing my fiber intake
• I started taking my fitness classes again and seeing my trainer
• I am coaching jr. high girls basketball. This is where I feel like a fake, we should totally be undefeated, but we are 2-4 I think. Ugh!

Right now the goal is just to get comfortable with putting forth an effort. After spending the year being fairly lazy, starting from scratch is tough. Sure I could jump into a regiment, severely restrict my normal eating habits and get super fit in a matter of weeks. I know I can do that. I know that after a few weeks I would quit. I need to pace myself, I need being fit to feel like a natural part of my routine. I will introduce some jump start activities, but one at a time.

So for as much as I wanted to say, this is kind of it.

I am going to try to blog more, same story I know.
I am going to try and eat better, same story I know.
I am going to try and run more, same story I know.
NEW* I am going to try and read or listen to a poem a day. A quick haiku or a multiple page poem --whatever-- my brain needs some creative stimulation and I like poetry. I got all ambitious and thought I'd post everyday what I read, but I know I am a slacker. Every now and again, I may tweet what I read, but I am not committing to more than that.

Why I Kick A$$: I am doing something, not Earth shattering efforts, but something.
The Big Picture: I may ditch this segment as it's the same sh&$ every time, take it slow, one day at a time, a bad day is just a day, in the long run its about how it plays out, blah, blah, blah
Thankful Three:

1. Afghani Bolani's from Costco, delicious
2. Tamales, Tamales, Tamales... I have an insatiable hunger for my mother's tamales
3. For the Jillian Michaels' Podcasts, I am slow on the uptake, just found them, I don't really like her on Biggest Loser, but I dig her podcasts as background noise when I just hanging out

Friday Five: Happy

There are two mistakes one can make 

along the road to truth... not going all the way, 

and not starting.

~Buddha

I come I go and I am not sure what direction things are going at the moment, but his quote resonated with me so without further delay, my Friday Five:

1. We moved into our home 8-years ago and we still don't have window treaments on a couple of windows. We did some decorating, but didn't "go all the way." We are finally working towards fixing that. Once we do, I'll consider some before and after pictures.
2. Last year we added an accent color to one of the walls in our bedroom and I have hated it almost that entire year. Today for $35 and 45 minutes we finally changed it. What a relief. It is amazing how draining simple dislikes can have when you face them every day. Word of advice to myself, if you don't like it and you can fix it, do it. Start and go all the way. All the way for us will be to add the right light switch plates, change our bedding and get a new dresser.
3. In the last several weeks I have started working out a bit again. Feels good, no pressure. I have in that time also completed a 10K and while I had to walk, it wasn't my slowest time either. I am registered for a half marathon in March and will ease through the rest of the year and start my official training program come January.
4. I am coaching again and I am elated. I have the privilege of leading a great group of junior high girls through a season of parks and recreation basketball. We have the full spectrum of abilities, but they are working really cohesively already. Our first game is Tuesday and I am totally stoked. The pure joy I feel when I coaching is pretty amazing. I am so thankful for my cousin and his wife for asking me to help coach their daughter, I am having a great time.
5. Thanksgiving was delightful and while I won't spend time regurgitating all the details, I will say I am a lucky girl to have such a loving family. I was apprehensive as I am every year about sharing the day with my immediate family and then heading to my in-laws, this year was so stress free and I am thankful me, but more importantly for my kids that they have the opportunity to be with both of their amazing and loving families for Thanksgiving.

Why I Kick A$$: I have turned into quite the bread maker.... Tortuga-Runner is going domestic!
The Big Picture: Sometimes there is a fine line between compromising time with my family and sharing time with my extended family. It is stressful to maintain balance, but in the grand scheme of things it is so worth it to have the opportunity to live close enough to share time and spend time with family when so many are not afforded this luxury.
Thankful Three:

1. For my husbands capable hands and my newly painted accent wall.
2. For our uncle hosting a beautiful meal tonight and sharing his table with all of us.
3. For my brilliant children, watching them learn and grow especially these last few months has been really cool. They are both becoming more and more articulate and they are just down right cool people to be around.

Saturday Sampler: It's where I'm at

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
~William Shakespeare

My oh my, how time flies. I sat down over hot chocolate and a breakfast sandwich at Panera the other week. I composed a lovely post catching you all up on Duder turning 5, Bug being in a bug parade and me trying to survive my procrastination at work. Guess what, it didn't post. Do you know why? Because I wanted to add lots of cute pictures, then never came back to the post to add pictures. Story of my life these days. Great intentions, great half efforts and a whole lotta nothing accomplished.

Since that delightful non-post I have done some sports related things, as I am sure not everyone wants to hear about Chuckee Cheese and pre-school parades. I went to a Tri Club meeting for the first time in forever. It was body fat testing day and I am 4% higher than last year. Yucky. I went from Athlete range to Fit range which is still good considering I never run. I need to find some motivation to run, I plan to return to my strength routine next week which helps, but I really need the cardio back.

On Sunday October 14th I got my 3rd Nike Women's Marathon Tiffany's necklace. No I didn't train, yes I had people I could have run with, but my SIL was either going to walk it or not do it at all so I opted to walk it with her. It was a nice stroll through SF, but it wasn't the best weekend overall. Saturday didn't go as planned, I was a bit under the weather and 4 hours of walking, yup, it took us 4 hours, and my body was done. To make matters worse, my post race meal ended up be alone, bad service, cold food and I left my favorite Bondi Band at the restaurant. On the upside I got a pretty necklace and an impromptu Target trip with my BFF on my drive home from the city.

Since Sunday I got knocked on my A$$ by a sinus & ear infection and had to take two critical days off work. Oh well, it happens, but never happens to me. I don't take sick days... at least I didn't until this week. So back strength training will be easy, I have a plan, I have a trainer and I love the classes. Incorporating running back into the schedule is going to take some work. I love fall weather, but I don't love running alone all the time, treadmills are only ok for so long and where does one find the time? Yes I know the answer to the time bind, "just do it,"anyone can carve out 20 minutes etc... I am just not motivated to run in the morning and that is where my time is. I am going to look into some 5K and 10Ks this fall & winter, it is my favorite time to train and hopefully the events themselves will be enough. I may even try to rope someone in so I have that social aspect too. We'll see.

Why I Kick A$$: Not everyone can walk a hilly 13.1.
The Big Picture: My blog is about me, I'll try and keep it sporty, but if all you read about is pre-school parades, hey that is ok with me.
Thankful Three:

1. For fun movies on TV today
2. For babysitters, I get to go to a super fun 30th bday bash tonight
3. For schedule girl time, looking forward to relaxing tomorrow with a girlfriend

Sunday Summary: Rolling with it

Rolling with it: going along with things; 

without high expectations..just being.

~Urban Dictionary

Long time no see Blog Land... ok not really. I still pop in every now and again and read other people's posts, but I have scarcely made time to compose a post. What is new? Still trying to lose weight and I am finishing up week two of actually following my RD's recommendations and it is it going well. I am pretty hopeful I can keep it up. Just in case I am locking in a back up plan. Way back in February Super Hubby bought me a 10 pack Group On to a new fitness studio that has all sorts of fun classes including boot camps, HIIT circuits and kettle bells. I really love the kettle bell series which offer Core, Sweat Max and Strong where the focuses change. I went to two or three classes back in May and stopped. and 1-2 in June and July and the Group On expired at the end of July and I had half the classes left. The owner was so great he extended it and I took 4 classes in August and and 1 in September.

It doesn't sound like much, but I have also been hitting the gym on occasion doing strength workouts. I have lost an inch on my quad, an inch on my upper arms and half inch on my waist. My belly bulge hasn't moved, but it feels good to know I am making progress in other places. I am only down 5-6 pounds, but I feel my body shape improving and it is nice to feel strong again. The one thing I continue to lack is sufficient cardio. I am staring at my bike trainer, while I sit on the couch and half watch Bride Wars and half type this blog post. It is so easy, cardio in the living room, but alas, I am so not into it at the moment. I have a half marathon in 5 weeks and my longest walk is 5 miles and my longest run is 1 mile LOL yeah, it should be interesting, but I a just going to roll with it.

I have been spending lots of time in the kitchen too. Aside from needing sweets, I am also living out my Pinterest dreams. Banana bread, pumpkin muffins using cake mix and canned pumpkin puree, egg muffins for a quick pre-made breakfast and today half win half loss when the Gnocchi I made came out tough, but the sage Gouda sauce came out perfectly. I am so excited to make the banana bread again later this week, but this time couple it with a Nutella butter cream frosting. Sounds so amazing!

The Big Picture: Strength training is an amazing boost to fat loss and to combat osteoporosis. Cardio is great too, at some point I'll balance both, but for now I'll take pride in whatever I am able to commit to at this point in time.
Why I Kick A$$: Because I am doing "real" strength training 2x per week. Yup, cleans and deadlifts with a bar (no added weight yet).

Thankful Three:

1. For my kids religious pre-school just refurbished the school building, it looks amazing!
2. For Pinterest... I am almost becoming a little domestic.
3. For S'mores, I really needed them this afternoon

Thoughtful Thursday: Burn out? High School Reunion

The price of anything 

is the amount of life you exchange for it. 

~Henry David Thoreau

I don't know what it is, but I am burnt out. Today I went home sick from work and I rarely get sick and even more rarely require taking sick time. I know some of today was brought on by the following:

• Dehydration
• Poor diet
• Very little exercise
• Oh and a little tiny bit can be attributed to a minor ailment, which is usually controlled with proper hydration, proper diet and proper exercise.

I keep coming back to the same concept and that is, it is super hard to dig oneself out of a hole. So why do I fall off the wagon? Because prevention is challenging. It requires planning, commitment and follow through. Planning I have down, no problem. Commitment and follow through, well I am still working on those. But maybe that is what I am tired of? Work is stable, home is stable, but personal time for relaxation, socializing and exercise are not in healthy balance and what do you know? It is a challenge too, apparently it also requires planning, commitment and follow through. So where do I start?

What is new? Uh, not a whole lot. I checked my training calendar pinned to my fancy vision board that I look at every day. It was a 12 week plan to my half marathon in October.....yeah.....uh, I am down to 8.5 weeks and I have started. I will probably spend some time planning that, might even take some action and revise the 12 weeks to the current 8.5. I have run the course. I know I can finish. I was never trying to PR. Now I just need to work on being able to complete it injury free. Wow, like I have said more than once LOL

What else is new? Oh yeah, I have my 15 year high school reunion on Saturday. No our class wasn't super on top of it for a 10 year, but we are making up for it with a 15. Did I mention I am nervous? I should have been motivated to try to slim down, but it didn't happen. It is funny, I didn't think of myself as all that pretty in high school, but looking back at photos I looked pretty good. I was such a dumb insecure teenager. So what did looking back at high school photos do for me? Make me a dumb insecure 30 something LOL I have an unrealistic expectation that everyone will look exactly as they did in high school or better and I will be the only one that let her self go a bit...ok a little more than a bit but not a lot. I am not fat, I just don't look like the athlete I once was.

Yes I punish myself with this pic by having it on my vision board.

Why I Kick A$$: Because despite my insecurities I bit the bullet and bought tickets to go.

The Big Picture: No, I haven't started training yet, but 8.5 weeks is plenty of time!

Thankful Three:

1. For the ability to leave work before puking in my office.
2. For the interest in wanting to blog tonight.
3. For kids that went to bed extra early tonight... I needed some down time.

The Turn Around: Kindergarten and Calories

One should eat to live, not live to eat.

~Benjamin Franklin

Wednesday Hump Day sounds funny to me, but like an out and back run it marks the turn around to the work week. Today was my son's first day of school. Kind of. It was the first day, but it was a short day and parent's stayed to learn the morning routine and classroom rules. Of course Duder was a complete rockstar and made Super Hubby and I EXTREMELY proud. First impressions: Great Teacher, Great Classroom Number, #18, Great Table Group Number, #1 nice kids that he sits with and the first kid he played with at recess used good sharing manners. Positive day indeed.

Where did the time go?

Looking sharp on her first day!

I met with a registered dietician on Monday. I had read over at TMB (before rmr) that she was having trouble losing weight after not having had that problem in a while. When something similar happened to me. I gained 10 lbs. Yes, I know, big deal right? Well when it started to come on I was under stress and had also tappered my running-tri season and wasn't working out much. 10 lbs in those circumstances didn't shock me, but then is settled on me and that I wasn't having. So I did what people are supposed to do. I worked out and ate better. No cigar. Seriously? So I tried a more conservative approach, more frequent non-competetive training style workouts, just walking, moving and eating better. Nope. Then I saw my doctor. I can't the type of food that I eat. Read: No fried food, no fast food and a plant based diet. The focus on fiber really made me feel better digestively and I had energy. Guess what I still had? A BELLY. A belly that still didn't fit into my size 10s. Yup, you read that right. I don't want to look like a super model, ok maybe I do, but I am not willing to put in the work to make my body unnaturally thin, what was I saying??? Oh, I don't want to be a super model, I don't want to lose 100 lbs. I want to fit in my size 10's by losing a menacing 10 lbs. Not a lot to ask, but 4-5 months into this (October-February) I wasn't seeing any results and I was gaining a little more. Yuck. So I went to my physician, my blood work came out normal. I was taken off meds I had been on for almost 2 years. Did blood work again 2 months later when the meds were out of my system, still normal. Went to an endocrinologist, normal. Went to the gyno, normal. YAY for normal, boo for not knowing what the deal was with this now 10+ lbs. Finally, I called on a registered dietician.

I told her my tale of woes and commented on how when I was eating clean for 6 weeks I gained weight and frustrated by the outcome, gave up, binged on fast food and lost weight. I joked how fast food really is malnourishment if I lost weight eating it. So she said it sounded like maybe I wasn't getting enough calories. We did some simple math about how many calories I need to function. No shocker here since I am terrible at math, I wasn't getting nearly enough calories. Yes I should still eat clean, no I don't have to restrict things I like to eat, but I do need to consider moderation. Water, fiber and protein intake sounds good, but I now need to look at my calories as a target. Calories are something I am shooting to get enough of, not "stay under" or restrict myself to. What a relief, and what a great new perspective for me. I didn't think much about calories when I was training for things because I was exercising enough to eat whatever I want. Now that I operate like an average person, not training hard, I need to know how to eat to live. Novel concept I know, eating to live, but I didn't understand that message. I ate clean, but not enough. Similar to TMB (after rmr) I needed more calories, not like TMB it was "just because" whereas she workouts so hard she needs crazy amounts of calories to function. We didn't do RMR testing with fancy breathing machine, just simple RD calculations for body function and I am really optimistic after the last couple of days.

It has only been 2.5 days and I have lost weight, but my goal is a month long goal, not a week long instant gratification goal, although instant gratification is my favorite. Conservatively I am shooting to lose 3-4 lbs in a month. I'll check in August 31st and if simply changing my calorie needs didn't do it, we'll look at other factors like how my body metabolizes food. My fingers are crossed it was a simple mistake in applying math to my caloric intake. I love myfitnesspal, but the settings were incorrect for my needs. What I love is that you can customize your goals so I can still use the application with my RD's recommendations.

Why I Kick A$$: I survived the first day of kindergarten.

The Big Picture: I haven't held onto this 10+ lbs for more than a year so I am hoping that this works and I can say that these 10lbs are not permanent lbs.

Thankful Three:

1. For the day off
2. For great friends
3. For the nap I am about to take

Monday Motivation: One Day At A Time

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”

~unknown

 

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I had a great post going while on vacation and then we lost internet connection. Then I had a wonderful picture post about vacation going to post when we returned and it never made it's way up. The scoop is

• I'm busy
• I am currently addicted to Battlestar Galactica and watching it on netflix during ALL my free time
• I am reading a lot more lately
• I am gaining weight and gee, that struggle gets old to post about LOL
• I am now taking it one day at a time...

So what is on deck? 

• I'll post when I can, when I truly want to post and thus make time for it...like right now. Ok, by "make time," I mean, I came home from work to take care of my sick child and she was watching cartoons on netflix so I couldn't watch and now she is napping so I have time to wrap up this post and actually post it.
• I have a high school reunion in a few weeks, I am sure I'll post about that. I never wanted to be that girl that had to try hard to get ready for a reunion, but lord knows they don't need to see me jiggling on the dance floor so hopefully I'll find some motivation to work out between now and then. Obviously not enough time for a full make over, but any level of working out is great for the self-esteem.
• There is a trailrun the morning of my reunion, so I am hoping to knock that out...assuming I can get a sitter
• One day at a time

BIG PICTURE: What is going well? Well, you how skinny people who used to be fat, always feel fat? I have the opposite syndrome. I used to be super duper athletic and had the body to match. I no longer have the body to match, but mentally and most times physically I feel amazing, think that I look amazing and when I look in the mirror and only disappointed at my belly which, let's face it, is a common problem amongst women my age. The fact is, I feel awesome, just gotta work on the exterior matching the ego...the mirror is a mean ego check.

WHY I KICK A$$: I am a damn good mom and know exactly how to love and care for my sick little Bug today. I hate that she is sick, I love that I get to be her mom when she is not feeling her best.

Thankful Three

1. For the in-laws did a great job today helping with the Bug, running out for Popsicles and all!
2. For a few minutes to blog and give myself a break from feeling bad about NOT blogging LOL
3. For Battlestar Galactica, because obviously I needed a new excuse not to work out

 

Tuesday Tidbit: It's My Birthday!!!

Middle age is when your age 

starts to show around your middle. 

~Bob Hope

Before breakfast I got the best gift. A jacket in summer! Yep, you read that right. I have been wanting a white jacket since forever. I feel like white jackets are feminine and pretty.

 Breakfast was Super Hubby's specialty Shakshuka. It was served with great crusty bread, fresh avocado and his signature chopped cilantro. We also had some cooling fresh fruit, watermelon and raspberries.

After breakfast I seriously considered crawling into bed and staying there, but feeling rested and well fed I thought I could make better use of my day and went to a boot camp work out at the gym. That was great and I made it home with time to shower and watch TV-fiddle on the internet for an hour and a half. Who knew there was so much time in the day?

Noon-Hair cut. Just a trim really, but I love that I get it blown out straight, I feel like a fun, prettier, hipper version of myself with straight hair. Like it is a costume or disguise or something.

Lunch-Lunch with my hubby at my favorite seafood restaurant in town. I was anticipated a mahi mahi or halibut encrusted with some delicious macadamia nuts or pistachios, but it wasn't to be. Instead I went with the California combo. This was fried taken to the extreme with a some cod, shrimp AND calamari. Too much food. Too much and no picture to share.

I planned to nap when I got home, but I was feeling home sick so I baked a chocolate cake and rainbow confetti cup cakes. Chocolate sounded boring so I put mini chocolate chips in it and that sounded too boring so I also made banana cream pudding and plan to make a triffle with it. Rainbow confetti didn't seem colorful enough so I portioned the batter out and used 5 different colors of food coloring and piped them into the cupcake cups to make a tye died confetti style cupcake. Super fun! So how does this relate to being home sick? Well, I am taking said deserts to my family for a dessert party. My parents were out of the country for a month and I figured why not use my birthday as a way to get us all together for a night.

In the few minutes after I was done baking and just settled into bed to finish my movie from early in the day I got a call (hang up) and a knock at the door. Would you believe it? I was delivered some delicious Sherry's Berries. Thanks AMW, this was a very cool gift.

Why I Kick A$$: Because I surround myself with awesome people who love me.

The Big Picture: I wasn't sure my day was going to be "perfect." We usually do something extravagant like a long weekend away, but this year with our family vacation coming up, we decided not to. Instead, I just took the day off to relax and found that the phone calls, text messages and family dessert night was just what my heart and soul needed this birthday.

Thankful Three:

1. For a peaceful day
2. For my new outfit from my nieces and nephew
3. For Netflix