Slow and Steady

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Sunday Summary: You're getting fat!

When friends tell you how awesome you look, 
drop the "I still have more to go" crap.  
You worked hard and 
you deserve the compliment!  
~Jillian Michaels

Week Summary and a litte more at the end. Let me skip to what you are looking for, I haven't work out, but that is where the "little more" at end comes in.

Monday: Passover, we have toddlers so they ate before we went to the Seder and sure enough we left the Seder 3 hours later (midway) still not having eaten. If you have ever been to a Seder, you know my pain. LOL
Tuesday: We did our own toddler friendly Seder, super cute, super short.
Wednesday: Played hookie from work and caught the A's Boston game. We lost. It rained.

Red Sox 5, Athletics 3
Friday: Played hookie from work again, this time I got to have a lovely day with my hubby who indulged me by skipping work too. Nothing fancy, just a trip to Costco, REI where I scored on sale Patagonia underpants (my favorite) and a great lunch.

If you are ever in Sacramento, CA you should try Selland's Market Cafe for lunch.

On the drive home we stopped and walked around the apartment complex we lived in while in college. Memory Lane is a pretty wonderful place.

So why am I not working out? Honestly everything I type from here on out are excuses. I am feeling constantly sleep deprived is the big one. My 1 1/2-year old has learned how to crawl out of her crib. The first few nights it was quiet, put her back in bed x3. Now it is stand in the hallway crying, put her back in bed x3. Last night we decided we'd drop the crib rail and attach the toddler bed rail since it's a convertible crib. Not the biggest success. When I am not sleep deprived at home, I am still pulling a 2x a week shift staying the night at my grandma's. Pictured below, the culprits: Me, my Bug and the Grandma.
This is where the Jillian Michaels' quote above comes in. My grandma, in all her kind, generous, loving words told me, "Your getting fat!" Yup, gotta love old people. Actually, she has always been a little feisty and always too straight forward, old is just the license to do so without much criticism. Anyhow, she said I am getting fat and she is right. It is all in the middle too. Belly fat is the hardest to lose. I was feeling strong mid-March, a little weakerk by mid-April and now I feel like a total flop. Want to know what the kicker is? We are talking about roughly 5-6 pounds. I am still a size 10, just a flabbier version of a size 10. 

When I first started losing weight last year (32 pounds of which is still gone-Whoot!) I couldn't take a compliment. I would always site that there was still more to go. If you asked me what my goal weight was this time last year I would have told you somewhere around 185 would be dreamy, but I am not sure I could maintain it. Well I held in the range of 180 for 6 months, through the hardest parts of the year Thanksgiving and the winter holiday sweets at work, pretty freak'n awesome right? Now I am about 186 and instead of seeing that while it is not the best weight given my revised goals, it is still nothing to be sad about. My recent weight gain I am certain is the sudden inconsistency of working out, sleep deprivation, poor diet and massive amounts of stress from losing my cousin in late February and now dealing with my grandmothers certain death. Home hospice is no fun, she was given a week and here we are 2 weeks later about to have a lovely family brunch. Sure I am thrilled to have more time with her and especially how lucid she is, but it has been quite the roller coaster. So why the Jillian Michaels' quote. Well the compliments are fewer and further between and I wish I had really appreciated and accepted them when I was getting them. Grandma telling me I am fat, really makes me want to be skinny. I liked the compliments even though I dismissed them. Since I gained my 1st pound back I am been back in self-deprecation mode and constantly thinking, "I still have more to go." Sure I have more to go, but it is time to refocus on how to get there, not just the end result. If I work at it the weight will fall off so now it is just a matter of getting off my a$$ and working.

I have the best intentions, I just need to act on them. I have a short term goal, finish my 1/2 marathon May 15th and hopefully I'll find out this week whether or not I get into the SF Nike Women's Marathon scheduled in mid-October. If I do, the marathon will become my long term goal for the year. At the beginning of the year, when I was all gang busters I wanted to hit 500 miles run. Unless I hunker down that goal will be hard to meet. If I get into the marathon, it won't be a problem. I also wanted to do 52,000 CORE exercises. I have a ways to go there too. I know I can do it, but again, I have to really make the commitment. Right now I am just going to take it day by day and hopefully get back to taking it a week at a time here very soon. Yesterday I almost ran, it turned into just a jaunt to the grocery store, but better than nothing. This week I hope to swim 2x (Monday and Wednesday) and run 3x, but again we'll take things a day at a time. I am out of town Thursday and Friday for a work training, it's my sister's birthday Wednesday, and Tuesday it is Water for Elephants Movie night with the book club (oh, a little massage before hand) and I just have a feeling "Me Time" the exercise version will get crowded out family time and fun relaxation. Priorities. I should be running instead of writing this blog right now, but I really love blogging. Thanks for reading.

Why I Kick A$$: I made a perfectly delicious Toddler Seder meal on Tuesday.
Thankful Three:
  1. Days off from work
  2. Mt. Tam Triple Cream---super yummy cheese folks
  3. Brunch today with maternals then lunch with the paternals...gotta love extended family


P said...

There are SO many things in my life I wish I would have appreciated more at the time, including compliments and time with my grandparents. Cut yourself some slack for the extremely rough time you're having these days - you will lose those 6 pounds and probably more when you're ready. Treasure your grandma. BTW, mine used to call me fat, too. I can't wait to get old!! :)

Michelle said...

This post really spoke to me. Thank-you. I'm really struggling with getting back on track and keep making excuse after excuse.

Christi said...

Dont sweat the weight gain. I know you will lose it and more. Sometimes we lose focus but it will come back and you will rock it out like you always do. I believe and so should you!