Slow and Steady

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Saturday Sampler: PR-Fueled by Anxiety

I had an awful week. Awful! Nothing bad happened, but I was completely consumed by anxiety all week. I had the whole knot in the stomach feeling every day, all day. I am fairly sure it had to do with four key things: 1.) Craziness at work 2.) Um, a little mini-pregnancy scare, yikes! 3.) My hubby going backpacking for the weekend and 4.) I again did not train for my TRI

Let's break this down:
1.) I am a planner, I hate being behind and while I love helping others, I hate when doing so affects me meeting deadlines. I am not this way in my normal life, but somehow I am less of a slacker when it comes to work. I hate being anxious about work because that is where I am generally most confident in myself. So there was some minor anxiety and getting everything done by Friday, which I did by the way.
2.) So my body was 100% normal after having my son 2 1/2 years ago. My daughter is 9 months old and I still have no idea what is happening with my body, hence the preggo scare. Children are a blessing, I would love to have 4, blah, blah, blah. However, my husband isn't sure about more and until my body normalizes I am not willing to purposefully send it to into a frenzy again by getting knocked up, pardon my slang. So I was completely relieved to find out that my body is still just trying to figure out which way is up. But still, had crazy anxiety all week until I figured that out.
3.) Super hubby left yesterday at 5:00am for a place so deep in the wilderness it takes a 4 hour hike then a 2 hour drive to get back into cell reception range from his camp spot. I have referred to my hubby as Super Hubby in this blog and that is because he is exactly that. He makes dinner, does laundry and everything in between. He works full time and still manages to make all look easy. So the thought of flying solo with 2 kids under 3 for 3 days has had me a little anxious. Couple that with the general anxiety that I feel knowing any number of things can happen to him in the wilderness and you have quite the butterfly party in the stomach feeling.
4.) I have not been in the water since the last event July 10th. I have ridden my bike 3 times, two of which were VERY leisurely. I have "run" maybe 2-3 times since the last race. I need to start making training a priority, how I am going to do a marathon in October is a little beyond me at this point.

PR Fueled by Anxiety: 1/2 mile swim-16 mile bike-3 mile run
I have the best mother ever. She drove 30 minutes to my home so that I could leave for my Sprint Triathlon at 7:00 am. I went to bed early (9:00 pm) only to be woken up by my son who was missing his Papa at 11:30 pm and again at 1:30 am. I packed the car last night and laid out my clothes. Bummer is I couldn't find my watch anywhere. ANYWHERE!

I arrived at 8:00 when the first wave of men started the swim. I had already eaten a 1/3 of a Blueberry Crisp Clif Bar on the drive. I racked, met a Delta Tri Club member I hadn't met before, set up transition and hit a line free port-o-potty on the way to the water. That is the good thing about arriving late.

I got in the water and the most amazing thing happened. Release. Complete and utter let go of the anxiety. I felt light, I felt free and I felt calm. It was a pretty existential moment and I have never felt that way about something I was doing. I know people do sports to find a place of calm, a time for themselves etc., that is one of the many reasons I do it too, but I have never felt what I felt this morning and it was awesome! The swim started and surprisingly I was trucking along with the freestyle. Usually I am breaststroking before I hit the first buoy, but not today. I felt really good and aside from a decent kick to the left eye in the buoy to buoy section, I felt like I was kicking butt. I did breaststroke when I got kicked and at the bottle neck near the turns, but otherwise freestyle all the way. If I had my watch I would say I went just a smidgen faster than the last two Sprints on this exact course. I had a lot of juice left at this point and was smiling the whole time.

T1-Sorry no watch, but it was pretty seamless and it felt like one of my faster efforts.

Wow, I mean WOW! I learned recently on a no drop ride to go out slower and let my legs warm up. So I spent this time eating a Powergel (chocolate with sodium). About 2 miles out I went up to my big gear and started picking a few people off. I started to let a couple girls pull me (motivate me) and was pretty apprehensive when I felt like I could pass them and sustain it. I had many of these challenges this ride. Should I pass or should I not? Can I sustain my pace if I pass? Shifting went so much better than last time and the turn around came sooner than I felt it should have. The return trip had some wind, but when I finished I felt like I had way to much left. I had been smiling the whole ride.

T2-fast. missed my rack, but it didn't delay me too much. I did see the clock and it read 1:45 and some change, I am guessing I took about a minute or so getting out.

This went well too. Lots of smiles, not a lot of walking, just up a hill or two and through the aid station. Knowing I went into transition at 1:45 and change and finishing in 2:16 and change I am guessing I was running 10ish minute miles and feel really good about the run. The weather was great. The fire roads are totally exposed and it was sunny, but the heat was not a factor today. I walked significantly less than the last two, but it didn't shave much time off my over all finish.

I finished in 2:16:50?? and with a 25 minute adjustment for my wave start I am guessing I came in at 1:52 ish. They haven't posted the results yet, but no podium finish. That is ok, because I would rather PR than get a plaque for 4th place and slower time like I did last time.

TRI for FUN Series
 June: 1:57:29 July 1:59:54 August my guess is in the 1:52 range

Afterward I had a bloggy meet up with P at Adventures of an Average Athlete, you should totally check her blog out. She is as friendly, fit and fabulous and as she puts out there on her blog. I sheepishly waited around a whole hour after I should have left because I thought I was in the top 5 for the Athena division, I was wrong and for the first time I am feeling a little competitive about TRI. With all the juice I had left and as much fun as I was having, I need to learn how to push myself harder.

Thankful Three

  1. My mom, she is amazing in so many ways
  2. Team mates that hang around for Athena awards when no one else does (and they dodidn't say anything when it turns out I didn't finish in the top 5 and we all could've left earlier)
  3. For the lovely anxiety that returned when I pulled into the drive way. Guess it serves as a reminder that parenting is hard and I appreciate having a husband who makes life for us the wonderful thing that it is.


Brenda said...


You are amazing in so many ways too. I would love to accomplish so many of the things you have. I am glad you had some release in your swim sounds amazing. I feel that when I clean, I always come up with my best stuff during cleaning.

::Your work ethic is outstanding.
::Your athletic ability
::Your social/family network (wanted or not)
::simplicity in your life (Quality over quantity)

All while remaining to look cool and calm.

Christi said...

Congratulations on a great race! I am sorry that I missed calling you on on my blog. But you get bet that I was sending you good vibes!

I hope you have a better week this week!

Laurie said...

Sorry about the rough week but it sounds like it was a great race. Great job on the PR!

P said...

Awesome race report! I have such a hard time being confident when I pass people, too, I'm always worried I'll push too hard on the bike and have nothing left for the run.
It was so fun meeting you today! I'm thinking about doing Luna Bar - I don't want to be done with my TRI season yet - are you doing another?



Wanted to answer your question. I feel great. No aches. Not tired. I am not on a 6 day a week plan. I run 5 days a week, but my home schedule this week forced me to clump the end of one week and the beginning of the next week together. So, I ran my long run from the week before on Sunday. Then ran Monday and Tuesday, took off Wednesday, ran Thurs-Saturday and took off Sunday. It was just the most I had ever run in a 7 day period, but it was actually 2 training weeks.